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Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.
Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.
Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.
Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.
Friends
Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'
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Chat area
Yes yes, this blog has finally been resurrected after another long hiatus. But probably not for long before I embark on a longer hiatus.
5th year has been nothing short of awful. It's been my worst year academically, socially, and just an all-round shithole. Things at home weren't all that good especially during my paeds rotation, my grades suffered, and I'm pretty sure I failed my exams.
I thought I did ok for the OSCE until last night while I lay in bed unable to go to sleep despite being so goddamn tired. I didn't say I'd suture the wound in a sterile environment or give the patient local anaesthetic. And I told a patient who had a heart attack after a colonoscopy that he might have cancer which may have caused him to get a heart attack, thinking I'd be clever since cancer can cause coagulopathy (I did back it up by saying I'd like to know why he got the colonoscopy and reassured him that it's something I just wanted to check). Which sane doctor would say that to a patient with a heart attack while not doing something as basic as starting a beta blocker (which I ran out of time to mention).
I didn't do an echo to check for clots in the heart of a woman who had a TIA, nor did I send her home on a holter monitor (although I did say to do an ECG). Didn't prescribe any cholesterol lowering meds for her either. And I totally did not pick up on one of the obs and gynae patients having a placental abruption. She would have died if I were the doctor looking after her.
Oh god, it was a complete nightmare. I think I failed. But whatever, at least I get 1.5 weeks of a holiday before I get the dreaded phone call on Dec 4.
I don't think I could do the damn exam again though. Might just take a gap year if that happens. Feeling absolutely shit now that I don't even feel like it's my birthday coming up. My dad's been pestering me for the last week on where I'd like to go for my birthday but all I'd been able to say up to yesterday (when the exam was) was that I didn't have enough brain cells to think about that. Then after that, I've just been too depressed that I'm gonna flunk out of med school and be a complete failure despite how my family thinks I passed because I can't say otherwise.
Feel like shooting myself. Up the veins with propofol.
10:23 PM