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Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.
Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.
Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.
Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.
Friends
Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'
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Chat area
Today, it rained and rained. As I exclaimed when I trekked to the science block (to get our past 10 years of TEE papers for practice: something like the 10-year series, I suppose), it could have been yesterday. Then we wouldn't have had to do that stupid marching thing.
Anyway, one thing I forgot to mention yesterday: we got our school photos (the ones who bothered buying some anyway). I got some self-portrait ones and a form/house one, though I sorely regretted buying the latter. Spending $8 (well, it is $18 if you buy it alone, but cheaper in a package) on a photo of people I won't bother remembering/contacting didn't seem very wise in retrospect. Make that doesn't.
How many of them will I bother keeping in touch with? Probably only Keisha, which was just what we were talking about last week. It is, ultimately, very sad that friendships in this school aren't very lasting. Or it might just be that the both of us have remained as outsiders as we'd joined later in the school life.
On the other hand, waves of nostalgia rushed through me as I looked at the pictures of 203, especially the one with the time capsule. We were made to write a letter to ourselves in some religion class. I admit that though I didn't take it very seriously (you can't, with the presence of other people around), I was thinking of the time capsule the whole time (I even mentioned it in the letter). The teacher suggested that we put the names of those sitting next to us on the back of the envelope to see if memories of friendships in the school survive the test of time. I sincerely doubt it will, in my case anyway. Ironically, the girl next to me misspelt my name. Of course she's going to remember me, right?
Back to the time capsule. I'm glad I went to NY after all. It has taught me many valuable lessons, like lasting friendship is actually possible in this cruel world. Whilst it might have made me much more cynical in many respects, I am grateful for the little beacon of hope it gave me: that friendships, indeed, can withstand the test of time.
Yes, corny. Very, very corny.
But look at it from my perspective: I don't talk to many people in school, besides the insistent pests asking about my grades (I often have the temptation to snap at them that it isn't that important anyway), and those asking for help with work. However, I must admit I think I scare people away, or they don't think me smart enough. Most of them ask Keisha for help more than they ask me. Haha.
I miss 203 and debates (esp Yanne) very, very much. When these pangs of nostalgia hit me, they shake me to the very core of my being and wake me from a certain kind of stupor. I think I've sunk too deep into the quicksand of the marks race that I've gotten immune to much that's happening around me. I guess it's human nature to want to avoid things that you can't have by taking the easy option and busying oneself with other 'worthy' pursuits.
As I said to yanne, I miss having a group of people I can hang around with, have lunch after school, go shopping, talk crap (SWEAR AND NOT HAVE THEM SNORT IN INDIGNATION), and just not give a hoot about my grades, and actually talk to me not only when they need help with an evil calculus question, or last minute chemistry. I'm not a textbook, or a report card. Unbeknown to these people I name my peers, I like to have fun. I don't actually study very much.
Unfortunately, it's almost like you only get either/or. Either good grades, or fun times. People often don't get that I have a sense of humour. Make that my peers. I reckon I get along better with the teachers than my peers.
It is depressing. Some teachers treat me like a marks book too. My form tutor, the year coordinator... The latter only started talking to me after the exams. On both accounts we have actually TALKED, it was only on marks, or future careers, or my reports. Doesn't anyone think that I can be unhappy?
The many times people get pissed off because I seem unhappy (especially after tests/exam marks). Maybe it isn't because of the tests, but because I am unhappy inside. Unhappy that those people only speak to me on accounts of grades. That after all, I don't have any true friends around me.
It could be argued that I don't try hard enough. But trust me, I did try.
All I'm telling myself is that there's less than 5 months to go and I'll probably never see these people ever again. But it's 5 long months till people appreciate me as more than a marks/text book.
5 whole months before I'm seen as a proper human being with feelings, not just a perfect report card. 5 whole months till it is acknowledged that I can have fun.
(5 whole months till I can kick those people's asses while shouting 'adieu' at the top of my voice)
I admit I'll miss the teachers. I think they're the only ones who think I am actually capable of having fun/a sense of humour. Perhaps it's because they're often in that position too.
I have a sudden temptation to tear up my report card when it gets here. Or maybe take it to school and tear it in front of the whole school. Unfortunately, I'm almost schizophrenic. I morph into an unrecognisable marks-chasing, hardworking kid in school. A bit scary, yes.
I must be very tired, considering this is not getting anywhere at all.
9:39 PM
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The past week has been a flurry of coughs, sneezes and headaches. Not very good at all.
My sore throat, which fortunately has abated, snowballed into a full-blown cold/flu after Sat (see previous post). This then escalated into a cough, which has been causing me to cough at regular intervals of at least once per minute.
Not very good, considering we had a lit conference/lecture(s) at a uni yesterday on our texts. I spent a good half of the lectures trying to stifle my coughs, coughing, and getting stared at for coughing.
And today's calc and chem tests weren't spared from my coughs. Doubt the people in my class were too happy. Not that I was. I couldn't think and made the silliest mistakes (converted grams to kg for chem. Don't know why).
At least I don't have to play at Gaby's recital on Sunday. Doubt she/the parents of her students would appreciate coughs punctuating the playing. She did say she wanted me to go for it, but I a) don't feel well b) have not even gotten my entire piece (the cadenza's outstripped by snails: figuratively) c) don't have time, considering I have 4 assessments next week.
A slight consolation is that I get Tuesday off. They've got some athletics carnival, and today, they gave out the slips that stated the events people were in. I didn't even get one, considering the number of tortoises which could have easily outstripped me in the trials for long jump/100m (technically, tortoises can't jump, but anyway...).
And I decided not to go for the titrations competition on the day of the athletics meet. Firstly, 6 teams (and a few straggling individuals) wanted to do it. So Keisha, Victoria and I graciously backed out (probably because we didn't give that much of a sh*t and thus couldn't be bothered fighting it out with the other teams). So the rest of the teams had to have a titrate-off (haha, suckers. They had to sacrifice a lunch for it) and only 3 teams turned up for that, so they didn't really need to have it after all (only 3 teams get to go). I wasn't too fussed about going, but I thought no one else would want to go and thus volunteered (thinking it would look nice on my reference), but since so many people wanted to, I decided to back out. VB wasn't too happy. She looked so disappointed that we wanted to back out, and when we saw her right after the titrate-off (Keisha and Victoria had physics), she sorely said that only 3 teams turned up, with the implication that we could have gone too.
Besides the lit conference, it has been quite an eventful week. Today was interhouse marching. I hadn't been to a single marching practice, and thus panicked when Gaby told me she wouldn't be here today. So since I didn't fancy having a detention with all the tests next week, I went for marching, though I thought ponning would have helped my house more. When I went there, I sorely regreted my choice of action. The f*cking )(&(*&*&^ assh*le (the same one who talked down to me at house choirs and with the whole arts fest saga) told me to just stand in the line behind her, which needed someone to be there. Unfortunately, the only slot they had was at the sides (for experienced marches), and I was in no position to stand there. When I asked to swop places, no one wanted to. I then exclaimed that I hadn't been to a single marching practice, and the house would be screwed, to which the assh*le snapped 'just stand there'. I was so tempted to slap her in the face, but I really didn't want a detention.
What pissed me off more was that I had just helped her with calculus during recess (she didn't know how to do it for the test we had after lunch). So taking in mind that I was already pissed off that she was so fricking rude to me (she didn't even say please/thanks), I really had to rein myself in and almost resorted to breaking my arm to stop myself from punching her in the face.
Anyway, I shall not befoul my blog any further with any mention of her. We shall move on to happier, more exciting things.
On Tues, I had to eat my lunch during recess because I had piano during lunch (Gaby had to play at a uni exam today, I think. Which was why my lesson got shifted and I had to go for marching). So considering the pace at which I eat, I couldn't finish my kaya bread in 15 minutes (which is how long recess is), and took it to calc. My calc teacher was very, very interested in kaya. She asked me what was in my sandwich, and knowing the angmohs, they wouldn't know what kaya was, so I said coconut jam, which prompted a Malaysian girl to go 'OH, KAYA'. So a sudden interest was developed in my kaya sandwich which just surprised me greatly.
I didn't let my calc teacher try some though. I didn't fancy she'd want anything with my spit/cold/flu/cough/sore throat bacteria in.
The calc test today was way easier than I expected it to be. By easier, I expected it to be hellish, the kind that literally makes stars appear before your eyes (because you're knocked out). Our calc teacher did say she liked the questions, which usually foreshadows a crazy test (like our exam was). So I did get quite worried, but it turned out to be much easier than aforementioned, which was a relief. Though the last 2 questions were quite a nightmare nonetheless.
Chem, on the other hand, was more nightmarish. The mcq took nearly a third of the time (I suppose it did need that time, considering the marks allocation), but it left me greatly panicking as I heard other people already riffling through their papers (probably prompted by my lack of preparation as I was too tired after lit yesterday, and I had calc to do too. I ended up doing neither calc nor chem). It turned out some people had started from the calculations. Stupid people who made me panic.
On the whole, I'm quite glad I made it to the end of the week. Happy, relieved, but still incredibly stressed. Applicable maths test on Mon (I'm hoping there won't be any time series data in it, considering how CD went on with the work despite half the class not being there yesterday), chem lab quiz on Wed, lit textual analysis on Thurs (which I don't even know what it's about: not the topic, but the term textual analysis itself) and chem practice essay on Fri (not counted in our grades, but still an assessment nonetheless). Then it's the hols for 2 weeks! With an assignment for nearly every subject except Physics (TD said he was going to be nice and let us have a break. Quite freaky that he was so nice, but he followed that up by saying that we'd probably die by the mock exams).
And speaking of CD, I went with Keisha and Victoria to their discrete maths lesson during lunch today (because they take 7 subjects, they have to take this maths out of class time. They're insane. But they didn't intend on taking this maths as it is not as good as applic maths, but it supposedly boosts their marks because they'll do better in this than applic). I go to their class quite often, and he usually ignores me. Today, however, he finally acknowledged/realised (wouldn't put it past him for being that blind) that I was there! He went 'and what are you doing here, Jolene?' which prompted me to go 'Maths? Calculus anyway. I have a test period 7' and the entire class to laugh. Bah.
Oh, our house didn't do too badly in marching after all. We came 2nd. Apparently our walking was good, but the turns weren't. And I think our house captain was actually disappointed with coming 2nd. From what I'd heard from the previous practices, she should have been overjoyed we came anything but last. I suppose coming 2nd always bites.
And I think I shall go to bed. I'm incredibly tired for some strange reason...
9:36 PM
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The ISAT crap yesterday was, as mentioned, crap.
The f*ckers (I am clearly very unhappy) who conducted the test started it late. It said that we would be seated 15 mins to 9 (yes, waking up early on a Sat displeases me greatly) and start promptly at 9. Everyone arrived at about 8.30. Guess what time they let us in? 8.50.
So we all started at 9.08, which meant we ended later. I could barely wait to BOLT out of the fricking place because I was so tired from sniffing through the entire exam. I don't think the other people were too happy with me sniffing loudly, but blame it on the fricking invigilators. Because we started so late, I was left standing out in the cold for about half an hour, which significantly worsened my flu.
And thus I was so sick and tired yesterday afternoon, I had a 4-hour nap and felt really sick when I awoke. My flu considerably worsened (meaning from non-existent to full blown), and coupled with the fact that I couldn't physically get any work done, I am really unhappy.
The f*ckers who ran the test weren't too efficient too. It stated clearly on their website that we weren't allowed rulers. It turned out that there were a few questions which were close to impossible to attempt without a rule (you had to draw straight lines). As such, I had to resort to using my answer sheet to draw lines with. And the people who were ignorant and didn't bother checking the website and brought rulers in clearly gained from that.
I have half a mind to complain to the f*ckers if I got those questions wrong. It isn't fair to reward the rule breakers.
Anyway, I need to do some work now. I have 3 tests this week, and it doesn't help that I only did about an hour's study yesterday.
12:23 PM
Friday, June 20, 2008
I'm currently sick.
And I have a tonne of homework sitting in my bag, a couple of assignments due (which I've thankfully done and just have to look through for the test) and 3 tests this week. All coupled with a 3 fricking hour useless exam tomorrow.
What for, you might ask (if you're concerned enough)?
Fricking, stupid, )*&&(^&*$^%$ UWA changed their international student requirements for medicine/dentistry. Instead of sitting the UMAT (some undergrad entrance test crap which supposedly tests your quantitative and critical reasoning skills: BULLSHIT) like every other local student, they now require the international students to be even more alienated by sitting a different test called the fricking ISAT. Which means that considering how my parents are currently applying for permanent residency, I have to sit both and thus waste 3 hours of my precious test week Saturday on some fricking exam I probably won't even use.
If I were feeling better and didn't need the rest that urgently, I probably wouldn't be as annoyed (albeit probably still would be shit pissed), but I fell pretty ill on Tues midnight when I woke up periodically and thought my burning throat was a nightmare but realised it was real on Wed morning. It developed into a full blown fever coupled with cold/flu on Wed (during Calculus), which prompted my teacher to think I was bored (she was revising integration) when I was staring at her. I wasn't actually staring at her but into thin air (and wanting to look attentive), because I just couldn't think.
And on Thurs, I went for the chem double in the morning then went home to rest.
Unfortunately, my cold/flu just got way worse today. Which means I'll probably be sniffing mucus into my brain (not very nice imagery indeed) all through the 3 fricking hour exam tomorrow and not be able to do well/think at all.
And just my luck that I'll have to come home and continue studying for the numerous tests/assignments and do all my homework as well. What a great weekend.
And I'll probably remain sick for the rest of the week because I haven't had ample rest and recovery. Just my luck.
F*ck UWA's international medicine and dentistry rule-setter. Of all the years and unis, they just have to change it this year and be the 'special' (aka: idiot, asshole, whatever rude words you can think up) uni to do so.
And I don't think it'd reflect too well on me if they found this blog and what I said. But I don't really give a sh*t.
Also, I have to bring my passport. It said on the website that it couldn't be a childhood photo/group. My photo in the passport was taken in p3, which was about 8 years ago. But, as I told my mum, if it's good enough for INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMS, it should be good enough for their shitty little mind test. At least it still looks like me (I haven't actually changed much in terms of how I look since I was in pri school, which is a bit scary...).
I should go rest instead of wasting my breath and getting my blood pressure up all for their stupid little test.
8:16 PM
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I got chem back today. It was alright... 2nd top mark, but I really really felt I could have done better.
But then again, 88.3% isn't bad. Except it is 5.5% off the top mark, and yet I got the 2nd top mark.
The prac wasn't too good. 31/40, which has been my worst chem mark EVER. Not good at all.
So after getting my chem exam back, I loudly (and probably unwisely) pronounced that it was my 2nd lowest mark. VB was prompted to look back at her marks sheet (I was in the front row) and exclaim 'Oh, that's *TERRIBLE*!'. She was curious as to what my worst was though, and didn't think 72% was very good for lit too. But she said that my other subjects were strong...
I'm surprisingly disappointed in chem. My essay was bad... 10/16, which was nearly a third of the marks I lost in the entire paper (which was out of 162). Oh well...
Physics was after chem, and this led those who did chem in our physics class to slump, depressed, outside the physics classroom, refusing to enter. TD then came and went 'what're you all doing here?' and we said we were conducting a sociological experiment, at which he said 'oh well, if you don't want to come in, I'm fine with that'. He wasn't pissed off, but was laughing about it.
Oh, we got our physics written reports back. I got 47/50!!! It pulled my average up by 1%, making it 88% now :).
And I've decided that telling you guys my marks is better than telling my schoolmates. Besides the general curiosity with my grades, I found it really unfair that people don't tell me their grades back in return, but just mutter 'oh, worse than you'. Not only is it unfair, but incredibly rude. An example was yesterday, where people's curiosity were further raised by CD coming into calculus to get my applic maths exam (due to the counting error). Hilary (just humour me by pretending you know the names of my schoolmates) then promptly followed me all the way from calculus to the social science building, which is about 3 minutes walk, pestering me for my applic maths mark. And when, out of sheer irritation, I snapped and told her I got 91%, then asked her what she got, she refused to tell me.
It really is very annoying and makes me want to hide in a corner of the school and be a hermit. It didn't help that people were making pointed comments at the fact that no one else got above 90% after yesterday's chem results came out for the other 2 classes. Besides the fact that I suppose people're getting sick of me topping every chem test since the start of semester 2 last year, I didn't think it was very nice of them to do so. And not to mention the number of people who refused to tell me their marks after irritating me to give them mine.
Even Keisha and Victoria weren't terribly nice about it. It's obvious that them being my friends, I trust them enough with my grades such that I would tell them when they asked. However, in return, neither of them wanted to share with me what they got. I suppose, as Keisha said, they never pointedly asked me what I got, but I guess it is a measure of how deep our friendship is (aka: not very deep at all).
Not that I care. After all, there's just about 5 and a half months left of high school and I'm done. And I don't really need anyone around except for company, since I don't think a lot of people can help me academically. And even company can be sought in the form of a piano and a sheet of music.
I know I sound very critical of my schoolmates, and probably not very nice too. But it's just been my general annoyance at the lack of mutual trust and equity that really pissed me off. I've always thought that it would be fair to divulge that little statistic to a person who shared it with you, but apparently not. And it doesn't help that people no longer believe me when I try shrugging them off by saying I didn't do too well, and are generally persisting till I finally give in out of sheer irritation.
And it also doesn't help that once I tell one or two people my marks, the entire year seems to find out too. I really don't appreciate how people go around divulging my grades, since I consider it rude as it was only an 'exchange' between whoever I told it to (a one-sided exchange anyway). And I suppose these people who do this are to blame, since there isn't a point in telling a person my mark if I already know what they got.
Why I care so much, I don't know. Might just be PMS, or the lack of understanding, privacy and equality that I feel pervades the school. I don't really care about telling people my grades, as long as they won't blab about it or are really rude to me. Everyone, even myself, feels curious about what another person might get. What really annoys me is when people annoy the f*ck out of you, get your mark, then go 'oh, I didn't do as well as you did'.
Or, in the case of Keisha and Victoria, say that they didn't ask me directly for it. Well, of course they didn't. They SAW MY FRICKING PAPER INSTEAD.
Or, in the case of the nosey parkers, go around telling everyone my mark, or asking those people who sit next to me what I got.
But at the end of the day, they know, and I can't do anything to erase that knowledge from their minds, though I suppose it advantages me, considering how it takes brainspace to remember it and would thus eradicate some of their brainspace and possibly increase my rank position in the class. Ha, ha. It's ironic that some people know my mark better than I do (like Shehjar, who proclaimed to half the calculus class that I got 91.7% for my calculus exam).
And I shall go study instead of mulling over such trivial matters. Not exactly trivial, considering how long this post was.
9:15 PM
Monday, June 09, 2008
Post-mortem wasn't actually that bad!
With this in mind, some exceptions must be addressed, namely lit and possibly chem, the latter I'll only get back tomorrow but know I've gotten at most 86% for (only one crazy person got above 90%, that is, 94%, and the next person got 8% less than what she got).
Anyway, despite this, here's how the day went.
First period: Lit
I really, really didn't do too well in drama. It was the worst essay mark I've ever gotten in my entire 2 years of lit education here, and possible in my entire life (besides the few starter essays in NY where I got 9/25). I passed, albeit marginally, with 15/25. My other 2 essays were pretty good, 19/25 and 20/25 for prose and poetry respectively. This caused me to come off with an overall measly percentage of 72%, which is at least 4% lower than my overall class mark.
And I didn't bother calculating that. The old baldie, having all the sensitivity of a blunt axe, recited to the entire class whether we were within 'the differential range' (of 4%) when the exam and overall marks were compared. And the stupid guy, thinking no one would notice, did it according to our ranking. At least I know I'm coming 4th in lit in our class (though it's only half the lit cohort), but I'm pretty happy. And I know that I got at least 77% for my overall :).
2nd period: Applic Maths
I thought that this was my best exam, but once again, I was proven wrong. However, I did quite well, though not as well as I'd have wanted to have done due to the numerous careless errors I made. I got 91%. And CD got my mark out of 121 wrong, but the % right, causing some confusion on both of our parts. And I am going to argue for one of the questions which was awkwardly phrased and caused me to misinterpret it, losing 2 marks in the process.
Anyway, CD came to get my paper to see how the % could be wrong during calculus, which was period 6, probably because he really couldn't see how his calculation could be wrong, since he'd used a spreadsheet. I then told him that it was because he gave me an 'extra mark' in my raw mark. How honest of me.
So having spent about 10 minutes waiting for CD to sort some other people's problems and then my own, I then trekked in the heavy rain over to Physics.
3rd and 4th period: Physics
Now this is the one I'm truly elated for. By some sheer cosmic force, I GOT THE TOP MARK FOR PHYSICS. How that happened is beyond my comprehension. I got 92%!!!!!! While I exclaimed my disbelief through the words 'holy crap', TD announced that the top mark was 92%, thus warranting a loud 'YES' from me. Which I really wouldn't have done, if I'd had more time to calm down. And that promptly lead to the entire class finding out I got the top mark. How ungracious of me... And it also lead some members of the class wishing they had fractions of my brain (I'm not kidding: a girl in the front row told TD she wished she had my brain, or even a quarter of it).
And despite getting the top mark, TD was his fair, impartial self and doled out the late sheet to those of us sauntering in late from recess for the 4th period. I must admit I wasn't too happy about it, considering how I'll probably get a 'needs improvement' for my punctuality in the upcoming end of semester reports, seeing that I've already signed the sheet twice. And that was also because I was asking, along with a throng of other people, how I did for chem. The teacher said I did well, but I think her idea of 'well' differs greatly from mine.
Period 5: some medicine/dentistry talk
Despite not being officially part of the post mortem, this warrants some mention. I totally hated the stupid old hag talking to us about it! Because I am 'half an international student', and I told her that when she asked if anyone was international, she went 'you can't be half international', at which I retorted that my parents are currently applying for PR. The old hag then went on about how I had to be sure about my status and didn't want to get kicked out of the international category and not be able to get into the local one.
Well, first things first, I'm pretty sure I know what my status is, thank you very much. While I'm hovering between alien and half-alien, I'm pretty sure that I will still have to apply as an international student considering how my parents haven't got PR. Secondly, I am rather confident that I might actually pass the local selection. And lastly, she was incredibly rude to me.
And she was mentally steeling us about being realistic that we won't get in on the first try, we should think of other states etc etc. For goodness sake, if I had to go elsewhere/didn't get in, I think I'll just drop the idea. Stupid old hag.
Period 6: Calculus
Besides how I said it was terrible, I actually did pretty well. Safely the top mark by quite a large margin. Anyway, I got 92%, despite a heap of stupid errors like 5-(-3)=11, and that 240km/h one that I converted to 14400km/min. My calculus teacher told the entire class about that one, and she was like 'how do you go from 240km/h to 14400km/min?!!?!' And I was like 'I DON'T KNOW!' amidst the entire class' laughter. And she broke it down on my exam for me, going '240km/h = 4km/min = 4000m/min', and pointing at my ludicrous answer and saying 'do you think this is right?'
So yes, besides my disappointing drama section for lit and chem tomorrow (which I had aimed to maintain my average of 94% but failed to do so), I am quite happy with my other marks :). Especially physics and calculus! But I'm really not looking forward to chem tomorrow... Bah.
And I'm tired. And I want to read 'Northen Lights' by Philip Pullman! Except that I stupidly returned it to the shelf after reading half of it after school.
And I need to get started on my fricking lit long essay which is due in-class on Thursday. And my calculus homework (our calc teacher was evil: she was the only one who gave us homework, because she said it would be good for us to get started asap, and because the class didn't have any questions on the exam).
So I should go now.
9:09 PM
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Am really not looking forward to tomorrow.
And yet, a little morbid part of me looks forward to tomorrow.
Argh. This is really getting annoying. I'm actually losing SLEEP over the getting back of my f*cking exam results, which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. I don't know what has happened to me in Australia, such that I'm so concerned about marks now (might be the koala bear venom... Or kangaroo spit).
This is very worrying indeed.
Anyway, to put that aside...
There's a tv show on Maria Joao Pires tonight at 11pm! Besides the fact that it'll be great entertainment for me while I lose sleep over the above-mentioned issue again, I wish I could play as well as she can. Then I wouldn't have to worry. But well, there aren't any tv shows on me...
Apparently Gaby went to one of her concerts, then met her for lunch afterwards! I am envious. My entire life, my parents have never taken me to a decent concert (they go for concerts like Zhang Xue You or whatever his name is: I promptly fell asleep during his concert, despite my parents forking out close to $100 for me to be sitting there falling asleep), let alone taken me for lunch with a pianist.
Oh yes, I think the school's internet portal is screwing up again. At least it's after the exams. Or maybe they're having some maintainence. Either way, the stupid thing never actually works. It threatened to shut down 4 days before the exams.
And I found out that I'm in one of the numerous pictures on the school website. Thank goodness my back was facing the camera. How humiliating, though... They were using the photo as the perfect epitome of 2 girls working hard on the computers in the library (I was actually working on my physics assignment. Thank goodness I wasn't playing my regular game of super mario at that time). Yes, the library which I absolutely abhor won some planning and design award. Some of the credit must go to the IKEA store indeed.
And I guess IKEA is very well-organized and creatively designed. At least they have proper DESKS for people, if not for studying. I guess the council that gave the award must have been dazzled by the numerous computers lying EVERYWHERE, and the apt naming of the peanut-shaped desks 'hot desks' (hot peanuts... Yum...), when they're not hot, literally or metaphorically.
Oh yes, the school also ran a dream careers quiz during careers week 2 weeks ago (wow, it felt just like yesterday. The exams seemed to have gone on forever). It featured about a dozen badly-photographed teachers, and asked us (or those who bothered) to match them with their dream careers. Amongst the list of careers was GIRAFFE FEEDER, so I suppose the teachers took it as seriously as we did. I named my school principal as a wannabe opera singer, CD as a football physio, and in a fit of mean-spiritedness, an extremely petitely sized teacher the giraffe-feeder (I suppose she yearns to be tall enough to fit the job description...). These were just out of the many others on the list. I really don't think I'll win the prize, but we'll only find out on Tuesday during assmebly. Perhaps, if I miraculously do, I'll topple out of my chair in sheer hilarity.
Besides the humour (most of it on my part) of the quiz, it struck me what sad lives my teachers (some of them) lead, considering how none of them would be teachers if they really had the choice. And the irony is that I'll probably end up like them, being forced into the molds that society (and my parents) creates for me.
Ah, the depressing nature of life indeed. And it doesn't help that I need to submit my application as an international student to the uni by the end of THIS MONTH (I just remembered today).
Anyway, I shall scoot off to do some online jigsaws to a) clear my thoughts of the post-mortem tomorrow temporarily and b) the depressing nature of life.
6:14 PM
Friday, June 06, 2008
The mid years are over! Although I don't feel that happy anyway...
Well, if I knew I did well in my exams, I suppose I would. However, as you've guessed, I don't think I did.
1st exam: Physics (Tues)
Perhaps it was because of all the study I did, or maybe because TD pityed us and gave us an 'easy' (everything is relative) exam, but I finished 40 mins early! And I think it was actually ok, in light of the others to come. And well, except that I was trying not to faint the entire time (monthly women's problems).
2nd: Lit (Wed)
Poetry was fantastic. The same question I did for my in class essay came out in the exam! I was absolutely elated, especially because I'd gone to see the old baldie to go through it too. However, prose and drama weren't quite as good. And that's an understatement.
3rd: Applic maths (Tues)
While the entire cohort was grumbling about how there wasn't enough time (it was a 2 hr 10min exam because CD discussed with the other teachers and gave us 10 mins extra) and how they didn't finish, I finished 45 minutes early. It was alright, except that I'd expected it to be easier.
4th: Chem and chem prac (Wed)
This was probably the worst or second worst exam hands down. I nearly ran out of time. I was pretty comfortable with the mcq and short answer, but spent too much time on the calculations such that I only had 40 minutes for my essay (yes, we have to write a chem essay). I finished about 5-10 minutes early, albeit I didn't have time to thoroughly check it.
The prac, on the other hand, was the worst exam ever. My first task was to make an electrochemical cell and get the voltages, which was fine. 2nd task was measuring the density of a sucrose solution, which is easy, except that I underestimated it too far. Just measure the volume, and mass and divide them, right? Wrong. I forgot to measure the measuring cylinder, so I had to do it again. Then, I decided to use the pipette and beaker, and so I wasted another 5 minutes rinsing them out. And nearly ran out of solution. Bah.
3rd and worst task: titration. I didn't read the question, and immediately assumed the ethanoic acid was in the burette and the NaOH was in the conical flask. Rinsed the conical flask, put the base in, put phenolphthalein. My chem teacher came looking, saw my burette EMPTY, conical flask was pink and stood there, puzzled, prompting me to read my sheet again. It said 'determine the amount of NaOH required to neutralised 20.0ml of CH3COOH'. Thus, I had to redo all the rinsing and wasted both time and the amount of solution. Bah.
5th and last: Calculus (yest)
HW was talking to us just before the exam and went 'oh, I think I've been kind to you'. We went into the exam, had 10 minutes reading time. Paper looked fine. Did the actual thing and felt physically sick. Some of it was fine, the others weren't, and it was those worth the huge chunk of marks that were horrid. And not to mention the countless stupid mistakes I made because I didn't have the time to check through. And after the exam, we were talking to HW and she went 'oh, I gave it to CD to do, and he didn't think it was that hard'. Well, firstly, CD is the HEAD OF MATHS. Secondly, he's taught the subject before. If he found it hard, I think the rest of us could go sit in a corner and cry.
So yes, the exams were very, very bad. Overall, from best to worst:
1: Applic
2: Physics (yes, even I can't believe it)
3: Lit
4: Calc
5: Chem
And to think the last 2 are my best subjects. This is depressing.
Oh, Keisha and I have a little bet. If I get above 95% for chem (theory), I've to buy her lunch but if I get under 95%, she'll buy me lunch. I told Gaby that when I saw her yesterday, and Gaby thinks Keisha will get lunch. Bah. And I asked Gaby if she was tempted to join the bet, to which she replied 'I'm happy to take you both out for lunch any time'. Haha, she's so incredibly nice. But she had so much to do yesterday, it was scary. Poor her.
And I got my cadenza for my concerto (which I stopped practising during the exams but practiced last night!). It looks so scary. Bah.
But anyway, I'm not going to do ANY studying at all over the long weekend. Might start on my lit essay if I feel like it (which I probably won't), but I need a break before the post-mortem (ie: exams come back and I die) on Monday.
This is so depressing. I shall go practice some piano before Gaby kills me.
3:51 PM