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Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.
Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.
Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.
Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.
Friends
Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'
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Chat area
Been feeling quite down these days.
It's Australia Day today. I guess I could say our family doesn't celebrate it in any way, except 3 meals together, and cleaning up the house.
We went crabbing again last night, due to the Gestapo and the Alpha Male insisting on doing so. I wasn't that interested. Didn't get a good catch till the end. Got a crab, 10 prawns and a giant octupus.
So the night was going quite well till we were packing our stuff into the car. This approximately 16 year old drunkened ignorant started shouting at us to get out of 'f*cking Australia', and verbally abusing us and asking us to go back to China. What a moron. In the first place, excuse me, we are from SINGAPORE, and proud of it. Secondly, you should go back to where you came from too: the overcrowded jails of Britain, convict. Lastly, go improve your f-ing vocab, you cu*t, instead of frequently using just that f word, and the c word.
I would have liked nothing better than to grab the crabbing net right next to me (with a hard wood stick and a metal end) and giving him the beating of his life that his parents probably never did. However, Cerberus held me back (ironic. She's supposed to be the beast). I ought to thank God for giving me a better upbringing than that unfortunate ignorant. Why should I ruin my bright future (hey, I'm an all As student alright) on a night assaulting an ignorant person who's under the influence of alcohol?
And you ignorant Aussies think that we like it here, where we get publicly verbally abused and get threatened (the guy, in a drunken stupor, believed that he was actually able to retain our number plate in his non-existent mind). Shall I enlighten your (ok, some of your) dull minds?
I miss my granny too. We called back to Singapore today, and she told us that she's too weak to come to Aussieland, the land of the wonderful people with a wide variety of vocabulary (fine... I'm over-generalising). She's reaching 80, the end of freeway sign. You think that we don't want to return home and visit her. You think life here is green and fresh and great. I tell you otherwise. It costs so much to stay here; to get in via a business visa, to open a newsagency for 2 years under the pretense of opening a business in order to get permanent residency, all in search of a better lifestyle. We don't have any family to rely on. Friends are synonyms of acquaintances. Everyone fights for a living here. When you're down, you're out. There is NO ONE here to help you out.
You think people who speak English with an accent are stupid. You sputter slowly at us 'Do you speak English?'. You jab at any foreign-looking language on a language card at the airport in a bid to make us understand you, despite us practically shouting that we understand English. Sheer irony indeed. I can confidently say that I spell better than three-quarters of my Aussie peers. I use a wider range of vocabulary than most in my year. I get higher grades than most of my cohort, and am (was) in the top class in the school I just left.
I know that we Chinese/Asians are often stereotyped to be greedy, cunning and God-knows-what. I laugh; at least we have enough brains to be cunning. We squeeze the fruit at the local grocery store, then decide they aren't up to our standards and leave them there, spoilt and unwanted. We mess the shelf up just to get the can right at the back, with the common misconception that humans are deceitful. Why don't you look at yourselves, and see the flaws too? You spout more vulgarities in a day than any of my friends in Singapore will ever do in a year. Fights in school? Practically unheard of from where I came from. Houses broken in would be reported in the newspapers in Singapore; the newspapers would be 10 inches thick if it were the same here.
Yes, often we over-generalize things. We get angry, under the influence of alcohol (not all that common in Singapore), and say things that we don't really mean to. But if a 15 year old teenager like me could spot the mistakes so many adults don't, it's only the way you perceive the world that changes everything.
It's not right to be superficial. We watch movies on Jane Elliot and wonder at how people discriminate against others by the colour of their eyes. We hear Martin Luther King Jr's voice echo in our heads on his dream for all Black people to be able to have the same rights as others do. And yet, the same problems lie in our backyards.
No one will probably read this; there probably isn't any purpose in writing this except for the fact that my skull will probably explode if I don't. Australia Day is practically a mockery for me. What's the point of celebrating the day white British came to this land and stole away the rights of the true Australians? And what's there to celebrate when that hasn't changed yet?
Giving others a fair go indeed. I sneer.
11:14 PM
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The Gestapo went to work again today. Cerberus and I went to pick up the alpha male's glasses, as well as mine (fine, laugh).
So I was staring at the guy's pink-ish polo shirt while he was adjusting my glasses. When he was bending the end of the left 'fin' to curve it so that it wouldn't slip off my nose, he broke it. Wahahahaha. Means my glasses won't be here till about next week or so.
Cerberus wasn't too happy that she had to come back to get them again some time though. And she thought I broke it initially. Gee, I'm not that clutzy.
She's been complaining of acute back pains too. Something about her spine... I feel quite sorry for her, honestly. I mean, after all, she's my mum, I stayed in her womb for 10 months, was made from a miniscule part of her, yada yada.
Besides that, the alpha male has taken to picking on me for some *^%&%$ strange, obscure reason that I am apparently unaware of. Maybe I'm just in a sore mood, and he chose the wrong time to nag at me. Oh well.
10:14 PM
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Cerberus' metal heart was melted today (somehow, miraculous no doubt) by the blood of another. And it is kind of a miracle...
She (it?) came home and was rather sad, thus the Gestapo and I stayed out of the way, as we really did not wish to court death by jabbing Cerberus in the eye when she already has this huge neon sign saying 'Danger'. She then explained that this priest who frequents (used to frequent) the newsagency passed away today. Cerberus, despite being rather mean to me, is quite a devout Catholic (more devout than me anyway. She's sure trying to gun for cannonization), and treats all ministers of the Good Lord so well that it shocks me that there actually is such a bit of goodness in her that hasn't yet been covered in bile (ok fine, she has sacrificed a lot for us, her kids, yada yada...).
So I've been trying to 'cheer her up' by using a cross between 'he's gone to a better place' and switching subjects to something like the colour of a family friend's blinds (curtains... It really was quite mean. I said they looked like some animal's constipated stools because they were this shade of horrible maroon. Trust me... I love maroon, and it really takes a lot to get that out of me). She scolded me for being so mean. Great. Thanks for that.
The Gestapo went back to the same workplace (a stall at a food court at a shopping centre at Southlands which is at an obscure corner of Perth, which is at Western Australia) that he has been going to (it's quite a wonder the person actually wants him back), which is quite good, as the house has been incredibly quiet and peaceful the whole evening. Cerberus just went out to fetch him back (oh the poor fellow... He must be dead tired by now. My icky wicky darling... *rolls eyes*), so the house is very quiet too, since the alpha male is in the computer room doing his accountings. Ok, I take that back. He has just taken to nagging at me to pack my room, alternating between 'cham ah' and 'better do it before school reopen or I will dump it somewhere or bring go and sell'. Gee thanks.
This is so bleeding frustrating.
8:26 PM
Monday, January 22, 2007
Cerberus knows about my piano results.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
At least my teacher had the courtesy to call me this morning before calling her though. So I was prepared... Cerberus called right after my teacher called her. She didn't scold me, surprisingly. She probably knows that I'm really disappointed too. (Good dog?)
She was talking about how my teacher said I could easily have gotten a merit if I'd done better in aurals. I kind of shifted the blame to my teacher, saying she only started doing aural prac with me 2 weeks before the exam, which was TRUE. She either forgot about it, or didn't know there were aural tests in ABRSM (being the first student to try ABRSM with her sure isn't a good thing).
I reckon my teacher kind of told her a few good things too, so Cerberus wasn't too pissed off. All the same, I'm going to watch out for head number 2 tonight (it has the most pointy teeth). She's gonna call my teacher back to discuss this year's lessons at 10.
It's time to drag my poison-laced helmet out.
In case you guys haven't caught on about who Cerberus is,
Besides that, we went crabbing again yesterday. Got a better catch, so that was good. Might upload the 6 pictures I took (when we got home; the egoistic Gestapo was so proud of the huge one he got. The alpha male decided to take a photo with it to hao lian to his friends too), 4 of which are of the above mentioned. I'm in none of them, obviously, since I took them.
That's all.
12:43 PM
Saturday, January 20, 2007
I'm kind of surprised people still take the time to read my blog...
My mum nearly called my piano teacher again just now. Fortunately, she forgot. But really, I can't be bothered with this anymore. Since she and Dad were just 'too busy' to take me to the exam, I was thoughtful enough to think they were 'too busy' to care about the results. Kiss my a*s.
I was just telling Jiaying about how Cerberus didn't let me take Music and year 12 Chem, as 'chew don have year 11 founda-son how to do chwell?' (you don't have a year 11 foundation, how do you do well?) She (or it) nearly bit my head off (with head no. 1) when I suggested to call the subject selection teacher back to change my choice. She'll probably use all 3 heads to tear my body into pieces when she hears about my piano results. *sigh*
I mean, she's piling pressure on me even now to do well in my year 12 exams (which are NEXT YEAR, dear lady) and thus beat her hoity-toity ahsoh friends' kids. Good Lord...
She just got off the phone after talking to one of them (since 10:37. It's 11:43 now. Do the Math)... Always feeling oh-so-alone. *saintly sigh*
So yeah... In replies to all the 'how's life' questions, life SUCKS and SWALLOWS and CHEWS (cerberus does, anyway).
10:36 PM
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I had quite an enlightening conversation with my friend last night...
We were talking about how Asian parents pressure their kids too much because they were denied those dreams when they were young (you know, the living-through-your-kids thing). All because my mum nearly gave me a cardiac arrest when she called my piano teacher up to ask about my results (fortunately, said person was in the shower and her son probably didn't bother relaying the message). Thus, I was hogging the phone in a last ditch attempt to pick up immediately when my teacher calls, and beg with her to agree to my conspiracy (which is to say that she just received the results in the mail yesterday).
Thank God she hasn't called back. I sent her an sms explaining it, but she hasn't replied though.
So I was feeling kind of sad about the Asian parent thing... My friend was really surprised when I told her about Primary 4 streaming and PSLE and my p6 life. She thought I studied on my own accord -.-. I mean, aussies are playing in the pool after school in year 4 while we, poor little kids trapped in our parents' dreams, are stuck in tuition class trying to keep our eyes open. They learn how to interact with each other in year 7 (equivalent of pri 6) while we are sitting 2 hour long exams in sweltering heat.
Which is probably why you get child geniuses who die trying to speak proper 'Engrish' and even communicate (meaning with proper manners, and all the etiquette).
So she was talking about my mum having too high expectations, and how I'll just go 'stuff you, mum' one day. I guess it's happened... Don't quite have a choice though.
And yeah... My mum just made me drop music and take history in school because 'you think you're so smart, you can take year 12 chemistry'. *Rolls eyes* So means I do year 11 chem but because chem coincides with music, I have to drop music.
That aside, my mum dragged me for a haircut today. I hate haircuts. Maybe I should start growing claws and claw out my mum's face when she tries doing that in future.
So we went to the salon, and the first time in my life, I had a wash at a salon. It kind of felt weird, like my head was in a guillotine-like thing that had been inverted... And it was really strange when the hairdresser started spraying water all over my head... Some of it flowed into my ears, so that wasn't too nice. She shampooed my hair thrice.
To the snipping. Thank God she didn't cut it too short. My head looked like a black mop half the time (you know how hairdressers flip your hair around the side of your head to check the length and blah blah?), which made me wonder why women like going to the salon to see themselves look like a mop half the time, and try to entertain the hairdresser while attempting to breath with the plastic linen half-strangling them.
So I was staring at the hairdresser's perfectly manicured nails painted with a deep metallic purple that looked like the Christine Dior samples my mum had. And I could feel her boob against my shoulder, which was... Really disturbing. And my mum found a half white hair in my head halfway through the hair cut... It was black at the roots, then white, turned gradually brown and was black again at the tip. Strange, but Pam says she read somewhere that it was common.
Bed time, or my mum will kill me.
10:20 PM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Dear Mr Lim,
This email is just a reminder that your broadband2 Plus light account comes with 10000MB peak and 10000MB off peak quota. The username for this account is joycelim.
You are about to reach your peak limit. Please note that when you exceed your limit, you will be shaped (meaning your speed will be slowed down) to 64kbps during the period in which you've exceeded your usage.
For example, if you've used up your entire peak time quota,
you will only be slowed during peak hours (8am - midnight or 7am - 11pm in NT).
Great. The only person who actually downloads crap in such huge amounts is none other than my f*cking brother. He even left the computer on overnight to download his crappy little Chinese Pop songs. My God... And when I got pissed off with him because of this, he just got pissed off and ran off to the computer room to weep his little heart out download more songs. F*cking asshole.
On a lighter note, went down to my new school to get my new school uniform and get confirmation for my subjects. I'm doing Eng Lit, Physics, Chem, Hist and 2 Maths. But I'm going to change it to Eng Lit, Physics, Chem, Music and 2 Maths, though I have to do year 12 Chem, which means I will be ahead by a year.
Guess what they're doing for E lit next year (out of a few books anyway)?
THE GREAT GATSBY AND WUTHERING HEIGHTS.
YES.
Woots. I guess I'm finally going to get the intellectual stimulation I have been denied for the past year and a half :).
Shall go now.
8:21 PM
Friday, January 12, 2007
My parents have been quarrelling again. And now what? Over money.
My brother's school fees in med school are going to cost close to $40000 a year, partly because we're considered international students here. So they've been quarrelling over the lack of money to pay for that, as well as my school fees, as well as the bits of the house that are left to be done (eg: patio, fence).
I'm really sick of this. Every night, my mum comes home and grumbles about having to cook, wash and work. My dad just sits in the room in front of the computer doing the accounts and not even saying a word. It's driving me up the wall, for God's sake.
It's almost to the extent that if I were to give up my life and the insurance companies were willing to pay a fortune for it (yeah, wish on stupid girl, you're not worth that much), I'd go jump off a building now. After all, they don't see me. All they see are household chores, and more money to spend on.
If only DBS bank would accept my dad back as an employee. Then perhaps the future will be brighter for all.
On a random note, I have decided to take my pet cactus in. It's dying in the heat outside (turned brown on the edge, for some odd reason). Shall do that tomorrow morning.
10:29 PM
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
It's one of those times when you wonder what would have happened if life had thrust you down the other lane, the road not taken.
What if I had remained in Singapore? Would I be as unhappy as I am now, or would I be even unhappier? Or perhaps even happy (gee... I sound so sure it wouldn't happen).
Gah. My head hurts from all the thinking.
Hopefully my new school will be more intellectual. If it isn't, I'll just remain as anti-social as I was in the previous one and camp out in either the library or if the teachers allow, the music rooms.
8:38 PM
Monday, January 08, 2007
I officially declare Pamelia Chia to be insane. She sent me a pufferfish gummy all the way from Singapore for EIGHT FRIGGING DOLLARS. Sorry Pam... Thanks for it though. Don't spend that much money next time though. It makes me feel extremely guilty on my part.
The postman gave me such a bad fright. He rang the doorbell, then banged on the door. -.-' How very polite of him.
Oh btw Pam, Aussie post thought it was a KEYCHAIN. HAHAHAHA. They wrote it as that under category anyway. Hilarious.
Irene, my brother's going to UWA. Not the best uni, but good enough I guess.
HOLS ARE BLOODY BORING. To the extent that I can't wait for school to reopen.
11:19 AM
Friday, January 05, 2007
The high school rankings for Western Aussie's out. CCC's about top 35 (based on my own calculations), while St Hilda's (the school I'm going to next year) is 8th in the State. Top in the State this year's MLC (yes, Natan, yes). St Hilda's was top last year though. Humph.
Anyway, the good news is that I'll probably be going to a much more intellectual school, based on school work. Which is good, as I would (hopefully) find better company there. Rather than just the few nerds in CCC, and getting made used of for homework-help by others.
Thanks to all who wished me happy new year. I hope 2007 will be better than 2006 for all. Janice, it's been ages since we talked! And yanne too. Btw fausty, the GEP girl left when we weren't even in NY yet (she left when she was sec 2). Her name's Andrea anyway, if you so desperately want to know it.
Holidays have been so boring. Just playing sudoku on the net all day long, and experimenting with cooking (half of it turned out burnt/crap anyway). My mum's advising (more like making) me stop experimenting in fear that I'll burn the house down.
Oh btw, my brother got his course confirmation for uni yesterday. He got into medicine. Gah.
9:05 PM