Disclaimer
The reader accepts, on reading of this disclaimer, that the Internet is a vast wasteland of crap that spews out of human minds. This blog is no different. Any assumptions or conclusions that the reader draws from this blog are not the responsibility of the author, along with any physical or psychological harm that might result from the reading of this blog.

Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.

Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.

Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.

Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.

Friends

 Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'

Archives

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Chat area


 Tuesday, May 31, 2005

2nd time blogging.

Really, I don't see the point of Life. What's Life anyway? It's just when you start bawling after coming out of your mother's womb, then start trying to walk, go to school till you are about 20 years old, then work till you are about 65 years old, then die. If that's Life, I don't see the point anymore. I mean, I know that this sounds really cynical, but well... Sometimes, I wonder why people work. But of course, I am just wasting my time thinking about such things, since no one cares. But this is my blog for that matter, and I post what I want, you read what you want, since perceptions make reality.

And about the perfect parent. Is it a fact, or fiction? To me, I think it's fiction. Of course, you would all be cursing and swearing at this cynical assh*le churning out such trash to make you all become suicidal, and your little momsies would come after me with choppers and voodoo dolls. But really, perceptions make reality. I was telling Sars on the bus today. Is there a parent, who never once scolded you, beat you, showed you all the care you wanted as a kid? Then when you grow up into a toddler, was the parent there to hold you when you fall down(literally and metaphorically)? How about when you progress on the meaningless journey and pass the doors of adolescence? Was the parent ever there to consider your feelings and tolerate your mood swings all the time? What about the start of the climb up the steep corporate ladder, when everyone is clambering, and you might lose your balance at times, and fall flat on your face? Was that parent ever there to pick you up?

Most of the times, the answer is no, at least in my case. When I was a toddler and had learnt to walk, I would sit on the balcony ledge all day long waiting for my parents to walk past that green gate to enter the house. When I finally caught sight of them, I would clamber down clumsily and sometimes fall flat on my face. Of course no one knew about this, and I do not remember much too, since I suspect that I did suffer a case of amnesia in the past(I am not kidding).

When I first got "promoted"(or demoted) to Primary School(since it's yet another synonym of Hell), my parents did nothing to help me with my Chinese initially. As a result, I'd flunked every CA in Primary 1. Of course, I had to pick myself up and prove to the world that I could do it, that I could stand up myself. And I did prove myself right in the end, though no one else gave a hoot about it.

So I aced my PSLE, though I didn't do as well as my brother, and missed the EESIS by one mark. For that, I was condemned for my entire life. How miserable life is indeed... And in Secondary School, just entering the age of adolescence, where were my parents? I did not even dare to muster my courage to tell them I had fainted in school. I had to tell them that everything was perfect, that there was nothing wrong in my life, even though I feel so miserable. Where was the perfect parent in times like this? A teardrop away? What hogwash... Even after weeping buckets, the perfect parent would never appear.

Seriously, Atticus should change his name to "Antique-cus", since parents like him are extinct, with asteriods and meteoroids hitting the Earth(metaphorically of course, for those too dense to understand). Well, what a "sian-sation" this post has been.

8:37 PM

Sorry for the long break. The author had kindly decided to take a vacation from the cyber-world of blogging, so apologies.

I was really tired last night after watching the documentary on Bahamas on Arts Central. The "Life begins at 9" shows are superb! But I'd only watched it as I was waiting for "Alegria" to start. The documentary was breath-taking though.

"Alegria" must have been the best show that ever came to Singapore. The first sight we got was "If you have no voice, scream. If you have no legs, run. If you have no hope, invent". I know that it's all paradoxes, but I found that I could really empathize with the lines. The other one that struck me was "Hope is a dangerous thing to have when you have nothing else". So I spent about 2 hours watching it, and was close to tears. Especially when the mimer was lying on the railway tracks, about to commit suicide and the small boy(who was the narrator) came to touch his hands. Alegria mania!!!

Well, I had Maths Olympiad today, and I am very sure that I'd fail, since I'd guessed the whole paper away, and was just drawing for the rest of the one hour or so. Unfortunately, we couldn't leave the room after finishing. What a waste of my life...

My throat was so sore after being dehydrated for 2 and a half hours, and thus went to get a drink from the vending machine. It's so odd that it was the last time being in the school. So I was having a last look at the staff pictures outside the GO, and saw a teacher walking pass me. I looked at who the teacher was, and it turned out to be my Primary School HOD of Chinese. I started gaping at her, but fortunately she didn't see me. Then I called Sars, and almost shrieked into the phone. She ran all the way down, and we went to say Hi to the teachers.

Then we wanted to go for lunch at Coronation Plaza, but that place was infested with people, and we had to go to KAP instead. We met Eunice and the softballers there, and fortunately there were no teachers... I was in my school uniform, and there was this group of people who were celebrating their friend's birthday. So I was telling Sars "Happy birthday to you, you are born in the zoo, you look like a monkey, and stink like one too." Wow... Anyway, I've gotten my testimonial, and most of it is bullsh*t. Nice bullsh*t though. Sounds familiar yeah?

Sars and I were laughing at it all the way to Kovan. She was doing her Geography data collection there, while I was browsing the books in a bookshop. Was looking for a suitable gift for a certain person, whose name I shall protect and not divulge here(Sars, please do not divulge it too), and saw a book called "the lovely bones", which seemed like a pretty good book. But it was 2nd hand, and the cover wasn't really good. Moreover, they didn't have a new copy, thus I had to look for another book, and was running between Popular Bookstore and this bookshop to look for one. Popular's books are really... Silly. All the local books which do not have any standard. I was telling Sars that the more Popular changes its books, the worse they become. Sad how the book industry in Singapore is slowly degenerating, right? What a rhetoric question... In the end, I settled for a Dilbert book called "The Joy of Work- At the expense of your Co-workers". I am really certain that it would suit that person like a hand into the glove... Go read your To kill a Mockingbird again if you didn't find that familiar. Sars and I both wanted that book too, but as a poor churchmouse, I didn't have the money for another copy and neither did Sars.

We then took the bus down to her church, where I was writing a note to the person whom I was giving the book to. Sars said that she would help me pass it to that person personally, since I doubt I'd be going back to Hell(which is a synonym of NYGH) ever again. I don't know whether to be happy or sad... Sars was getting me to address her by her name, and I did so in the end. So sad that I hadn't even read the book, and I liked it the moment I saw it. Love at first sight indeed. Met this student councillor from our school called Carol, and went for mass.

Halfway through mass, ZEENA TAN smsed me. Fortunately my phone was on silent mode, or Zeena Tan would be blasted by now.

Finally I'm home. Really tired, and hungry. I haven't had dinner yet... Going for dinner now. See you!

7:25 PM

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Here's a haiku inspired by yesterday's rain in school.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Thanks to Mr James Tan, I have gotten to displaying my haikus in this way. To conclude, Mr Tan did impart something to me throughout Creative Writing s**, and that is to make something more colourful. Obscenities again. A picture speaks a thousand words indeed.

11:17 PM

Sorry for not updating yesterday. Came home really late, at about 10 at night.

Thanks to all who put in effort for the farewell party, especially Jiamin, Xue Ying, Chun Hing, Qiuting, Irene etc... Sorry if I missed you out. Chun Hing was really nice. She brought lychees and grapes, which aren't cheap yeah...

The first thing Mrs Ng said to me in the morning was "you look like you have something up your sleeve". Shiru retorted by saying that I didn't even have a sleeve. Haha! Mrs Ng looked especially ravishing yesterday, probably because she didn't want our parents to comment on her dress sense. NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE!

Well, I spent the time writing in Shiru's autograph book, thinking that I would do the essay later, but it turned out that I had to write another 3 autograph book entries on top of Shiru's. So when Mrs Ng came in, sars, Zeena, and I were discussing, and fortunately I managed to scoot back to my place in time. Poor sars and Zeena got ticked off for discussing.

Mrs Ng allowed us to look at her comments, and she talked to some people about their results, about why they were so bad. I was talked to about my Maths, and before that, Mrs Ng was asking Jiaying to broadcast to the class her secret of scoring so high for History. Jiaying said it was to be attentive in class, and I was like "wasting air time!". When it was my turn, Shiru was making some drinking movement that was supposed to remind me of Milo, and I was pulling a face of her. Mrs Ng was like -_-. Then when I sat down, she passed me my report slip and went "please explain the 39 for Maths". I was like "uh... I just don't understand it!" Mrs Ng then copied me and went "wasting air time!" What happened to copyrights... So being the smart-alecky me, I went "I dont get what Ms Lee is teaching", which is paraphrasing what I had said earlier on. Mrs Ng then went "is it your learning style and her teaching style?" Obviously it is... So I was like yeah... And she asked me what Ms Lee's teaching style was. I said that it was "writing everything down, then we just copy copy copy and done". HAHA. Bad grammar. Mrs Ng then asked me what my learning style was, and I was like "I guess it's conceptual..." She then said that I should ask Ms Lee to bring the processes to the concepts, but I told her that I did, but Ms Lee only repeated what she had said before. Mrs Ng then asked what I did about my Maths, and I was like "I stayed back every Friday for help", and she was like "remedial?" I was like yeah...(tempted to say DUH). Fortunately(or unfortunately), my Maths saved me a humiliation, since I had gotten 69 for History, and would have been asked to WASTE AIR TIME.

After I was done with the "meet the pupil session", I sat at my desk writing in Shiru's autograph book, and after Mrs Ng had scolded Jiaying for playing musical chairs, I concluded that she wouldn't scold anymore for moving around, and moved to Zeena's desk, where I did the autograph book entry. Mrs Ng then went "Who sits here? (to Sera...)Where's that Jolene... *Looks around* JOLENE LIM! SCOOT BACK TO YOUR SEAT NOW!" So I had to move my chair back in silent humiliation, and left the autograph book at Zeena's desk, since Mrs Ng would slaughter me if she had seen it. Then I went back to get it, and tried to start on my essay but couldn't. So I was just wasting time, till Mrs Ng went "Jolene, don't think that you don't have to do the essay ok!". I was like "I am doing it!!!" Right.

After Mrs Ng had gone off, we had the first part of the party. Jiamin and I had a water fight, and I won her, even though she had accomplices. HAHA.

Chinese was spent writing autograph book entries.

Science lesson was spent standing outside touching the rain and chatting with Zeena, Pam, Karene, Xin Rong and Claire. Then Mrs Ng came, and was like "aren't you all supposed to be cleaning up your classroom? Then how come some people were standing outside touching the rain? So romantic...*stares at me* Why don't you write a haiku for me?" Darn... Less than half of the class handed in their Geography files, and I am glad for that.

After school, we had the second part of the class party. After that, went to watch Madagascar with Shiru and Xue Ying. It was rather funny, though not quite up to scratch. Was really bloated with popcorn and coke after that.

Went back to school as I wanted to go to the library, but changed my mind after seeing Xin Rong and Irene. They told me that my mum was in the class, and I was like die... So I sneaked to Popular and was a refugee till I was told that my mum wasn't there anymore.

After that, saw Xin Rong outside 2/3, and was chatting with her. She told me that the class photo was on the notice board, and so I went in to take a look. Fortunately, Mrs Ng was on the phone, so she couldn't make some snide remark about me.

Escorted Xin Rong to the bus stop, and saw Ferly outside the English staffroom. Ferly was really frightened, but I "consoled" her and told her that my mum would scold the living "sadam hussein" out of me too.

Then went to the benches outside 2/5 to chat with Sars, since Irene and Xin Rong had already gone off. After that, saw Faus and told her about the class photo together with Jiamin, who had decided to come at that crucial moment. Went in, and started mutiliating the photo with my bizarre, inane ideas. HAHA. Please do not kill me and spam my mailbox when you see it...

Mrs Ng then came over and saw us mutiliating it, and she was like "so mean!!!" Pui Ian's father then came in, and she was like "look at the 3 naughty girls!" Haha. I am so honoured...

Well, I broke down when Faus, Jm and I were closing the classroom door, since it would be the last time seeing the classroom. Mrs Ng had to walk back halfway to get Melesa's handphone number, and see me crying. This was the conversation that went.

Mrs Ng: Oh sorry!(she did not see me crying at first)
Me: It's ok...
Mrs Ng: Don't worry too much... I'm sure you would enjoy it there. All the best! *sticks out her hand*
Me: Thanks*shakes her hand*
Mrs Ng: Why are you all still here?
Faus/Jm: Accompanying Jolene.
Mrs Ng: Why dont you go home?(to me)
Me: I don't dare to go home...(My mum and Maths[alliteration])
Mrs Ng: Why?
Me: My Maths...
Mrs Ng: One exam isnt everything.
Me: It is everything to my mum.
Mrs Ng: Your mom isnt gonna do anything to you(LOGICAL FALLICY!!!).
Me: She's gonna throw me off the building if i dont throw myself off first.
Mrs Ng: -_- evil child... I don't think your mum is that bad. She said something really interesting just now. She said that she didn't want you to slot your guts out here for the rest of your lives.
Me: My mum's really hypocritical at times(neutral tone throughout the whole conversation, and I am really proud of that)
Mrs Ng: -_-*Faus and Jm were laughing* i should introduce you to my older son. he's like you; always saying such bad things about his parents(something like that). My husband got a scolding from the teacherjust now(parent teacher meeting too, probably about the son's poor Chinese again. Poor husband was the scapegoat.)
Me: Maybe I should throw myself off the overhead bridge later.
Mrs Ng: *Stares wide-eyed* You must not entertain such thoughts! You must have faith in your mum! Even if you don't, you must have faith in God! I am sure He's always there for you.
Me: He wouldn't be there when I throw myself off the building later.
Mrs Ng: -_- *waves with hand as she always does* Go now... I shall go and have my hot bath, then eat my dinner and go to sleep.

Amusing, wasn't it? I achieved the neutral tone conversing skill! Am so proud of myself...

Went for dinner with Faus at Macdonals(Wisma Atria), then went home. Fortunately(or unfortunately) Mrs Ng told my mum about the fainting incident, so my mum was questioning me on that. She was quite annonyed with my Maths, but with the fainting incident and the other subjects that were quite well done, she was tolerable. Phew! But my mum really scared the living "sadam hussein" out of me, especially when Xin Rong and Irene told me that she was in the classroom. Fortunately I did not pass the classroom at that time...

Well, what a long post.

6:09 PM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

*edited*

This morning, Language Arts was quite funny, yet boring. Seraphina was staring at my star drawings again. Haha. Not really boring, but the class refused to respond, and so did I, since I don't see why I should be using my brains when the rest of the class doesn't. Stereotyping. Mrs Ng was asking Sheena who Heck Tate is, and Sheena was shrugging her shoulders. On to Mingyi. Mingyi said that Heck Tate and Atticus were related by MARRIAGE. I just burst out into laughter. Opps... That was really mean. We were saying about Heck Tate marrying Aunt Alexandra. I then said that Heck Tate married Scout, and Shi Ru was like "NO! Heck Tate married Jem!" All of us then burst out into even louder laughter. Mrs Ng then started twirling her hair, and Shi Ru was like "Mrs Ng, you look like Dilbert's boss!" I was like "Shi Ru! I totally agree!" But as the last Language Arts lesson here in my whole life, it was really disappointing. Mrs Ng then talked about her mother-in-law, and I was like "monster-in-law!" She then started staring at me... Me and my big mouth.

ITE was silly, since I'd already finished my Dreamweaver assignment a fortnight ago, and was watching A Beautiful Mind with Xinrong, Jiamin, Eunice and Seraphina, but we were told to switch it off. Thus, I was just surfing the Net for ITE. And we actually pay $120 per year for slacking. Right.

Project work was rather interesting, with the presentations, though the language used was Singlish, and there were quite a number of logical fallicies, as well as waste of air time.

I'd already watched "The Way Home", so Chinese was sleeping time.

The clique had lunch together, and it was really fun! YCY is cute eh, Yanne? So that was the tragic(ok... not so tragic) end of the clique. That's really sad... In CCAs/real life, sometimes there are people you can click with immediately(the clique), and some you take a long time and never manage to(the OTHER CCA).

Maths, as usual, was really INTERESTING. Sarcasm truly intended. Not really true though. Marissa and Ferly had a great time spraying me with water. My whole back was wet.

CME was thoroughly boring... What a nice way to end off the lessons in the school. Right.

After CME, Jiamin, Jac and I(the 3 Js) had a water fight. Jac and I were in cahoots, and we splashed Jiamin with all our water. HAHA!

That's all I guess.

GOODBYE to the CLIQUE physically. We would meet on MSN yeah? By the way, does anyone have a camera to loan me tomorrow? I want to take a photo of the clique. Sigh...

5:16 PM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Today was really exhausting, for no reason.

During Lang Arts, I somehow just refused to answer even though I knew the answers. Seraphina and Jiamin were rather irritated with me I think... Sorry guys, but I really just didn't want to contribute, since people would say I am arrogant, and not give others a chance. Even though I do not give a hoot about what they say, I think that way too. So Lang Arts was rather boring for me, and counting it as the 2nd last Lang Arts lesson with the class ever, it was disappointing. It's my fault ultimately, so who do I have to blame? Well, I was self-entertaining myself and drawing stars. When questioned by Seraphina why I kept drawing stars, I told her that I could not draw anything else well, or I would start seeing stars(pun fully intended). Mrs Ng was staring at me, since I was doodling and laughing away. At one point, she went "Jolene Lim, why are you laughing?" It was irony indeed, since she had mimicked someone/something and gone "somebody help me". I think it should be "somebody stop me", which is from The Mask, but she changed the word. So I burst out into laughter, and she was like..... Situational irony!

We watched "The Way Home", of which I had already watched in Primary School. Was rather sleepy, as I could not sleep the night before and two nights ago. My mind just couldn't stop thinking, though I was physically and emotionally exhausted. Maybe it's insomnia or depression. How does post-natal blues sound? Right.

Recess. Goodness! After the movie, my bladder was bursting, and I was about to go out when Mrs Ng came and was standing outside the door. She was staring at me, and I was rather freaked out, resulting in my reaching out to open the door, then sneaking to the back of the class. After Mrs Ng had talked to Sylvia, I thought she was done, and continued with my animated conversation with Claire, waiting for Mrs Ng to go before sneaking out. Unfortunately, she came to the back door and called me... Claire was gloating over me. Mrs Ng was telling me that she could write a testimonial for me, though it would only be about 2 paragraphs as she had not much time. I was like oh ok... It's alright. Mrs Ng then reached for the Dr. Seuss book, and passed it to me with a "This is for you". I was like staring at her in disbelief, and then snapped back to reality and went "oh... Thanks!" Claire, Faustina and guys said that I was blushing. And Claire is in denial that she loves Mrs Ng! She looked so jealous when Mrs Ng called me. Haha! Admit it, Claire!

Science was a free period, since Mrs Ng had another lesson with some other class. YEAH! I was doing Irene's autograph book up though.

People, Geography files are due on Friday if you haven't seen the big notice on the whiteboard. Mrs Chan claimed she'd told me 2 weeks ago, but I do not remember her breathing a word about it. So sorry guys... I do not have to do the Geography SIA!!! Hurray!

History was rather sad for me. I got the lowest ever for my tests, and of course, if you all know what I got, you all would want to bash me up, since most people failed and here I am lamenting that I'd gotten a 6, and am disappointed. Well, bash me up for all I care.

That's all I guess. By the way, please do not blame me if I do not want to contribute in class discussions or lessons. Sorry, but I really don't feel like contributing.

5:47 PM

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

As Sars had kindly done me a favour this morning, we need a new Geography Rep. Since we are getting a new Geography teacher, it would certainly match with a new rep too. How optimistic I am...

Mrs Ng had to stand next to me during ASSembly. As usual, I did not say the pledge/sing the national anthem/school song, so it didn't really matter. Just that I was feeling rather dizzy, and was so afraid that I would faint again.

Well, Chinese was boring, since we only went through the worksheets. It really doesn't make you think.

We did not have Language Arts as Mrs Ng had swopped her lesson with Ms Lye, and got to "give one get two free". Darn... They both played a prank on us, saying that it was a combined lesson, and we had to write a 1000 essay on Acids and Metals. I was pointing at Mrs Ng and going "Acid", then pointed at Ms Lye and said "metal". Mrs Ng stared at me as though I was insane. She went "take out your foolscap pads now and start writing". The whole class took it out, including me. I didn't believe it, but since I had to take down notes, there wasn't anything to lose. Well, I was tempted to crush a piece of paper and throw it at Mrs Ng's retreating figure. Ha.

Science was boring as well, and I was really on the verge of sleeping even though I kept telling myself that it was the last lesson with Ms Lye ever, and I had to keep myself awake. To no avail indeed.

Chinese drama was also boring, till the end, when we played the game and discussed about life(sort of). What Lao Shi said was rather true, that our attitudes are really important.

Art. Pop art is cool, but I freaked out as I had not collected any pictures. Fortunately, it'd slipped off Mrs Teo's mind too.

Maths was really a lullaby, though a really long one. There was this Festival of Arts list being passed around, and Jiamin had officially vandalized the property of the class. She was writing the names of those performing, as well as "be there or (I can't remember this)", but I refined it for her and said that she should have written "be there or beware". Copyrighted!!!

Well, that's all, unless you want me to complain about how the CO had to bug me even after I had told the sectional leader 2 weeks ago. Interesting how moronic the school is, isn't it?

5:05 PM

Monday, May 23, 2005

Today was indeed a memorable day. We met up for Science SIA, and went to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. There, we were discussing the details of the SIA till about 5, and it was really enjoyable. After that, we discussed about our future jobs, and we decided to work as teachers in a school together. We decided on what kind of teachers to employ, and enjoyed ourselves alot doing that. Seriously, today would be a day I would never forget in my entire life. Thanks.

Anyway, we were discussing about marks before the SIA discussion properly started. Well, it turns out that my humanities are really above average this time, and despite doing really badly for Maths, my results don't really pale compared to others, but this would still not stop my parents from killing me for my Maths. That's unless I kill myself first. Well, that's really possible, since I have no hope for the future with Humanities. Haha.

8:01 PM

Sunday, May 22, 2005

The day our report books come back would be the day I die. Or maybe I would die before that. Seriously, my parents are going to slaughter me. Sigh... They don't realize that I did put in effort for Maths, and that I just can't do well in Maths. Unlike my Humanities subjects of which I did not put in much effort and did rather well, my Maths and Science are total flops even though I put in a considerable amount of effort, and stressed myself out till I was sick. Right.

Well, they still don't know I had fainted, and I don't intend to let them know. After all, it would just be deemed as an excuse of my bad results. Oh well.

That's all my laments of today.

6:31 PM

Saturday, May 21, 2005

I have just made a breakthrough in my history of music that the Chinese Trumpet(suo3na4) really sounds horrible. No offence to anyone in particular, but for some reason, I think it can burst my eardrums and make me go insane if I continue to listen to it. And my brother is watching The Romance Of the Three Kingdoms on Channel 8, with the volume at full blast. Good Lord! This is inane.

Hmm... So what is the soul? Of course P4T hasn't given us any answers, but well, what constitues the soul? Is it just a figment of man's imagination, a fantasy, or does it exist? Definitely you cannot answer whether it exists, since perceptions make reality. That sentence is just for me, since some people cannot decide whether the theory that perceptions make reality stands. Another question is that what does the soul do? I mean, if people say that the soul answers the rhetorics of Life, then I hereby presume that the soul is the conscience, and it is all about ethics and morals(NOT MORALES!). Maybe the soul is just something to cast all the blame on when you can't get answers to Life. Maybe. Decide for yourselves, since I've been praying to get an answer, and God unfortunately hasn't hit me with a meteorite from Heaven to tell me the answer.

So ultimately, what is Life? Using the Scientists' definition(I DO NOT HAVE RESPECT FOR THIS DEFINITION AT ALL), it is thestate of being which begins with generation, birth, or germination, and ends with death; also, the time during which this state continues; that state of an animal or plant in which all or any of its organs are capable of performing all or any of their functions. If this definition stands, that would mean that we all go through a state of nothingness while waiting for our deaths so that a new generation would come, and we do nothing but give birth. What sense does this make?

My definition, is probably something like this: The potential principle, or force, by which the organs of animals and plants are started and continued in the performance of their several and cooperative functions; the vital force, whether regarded as physical or spiritual.

Honestly, I think Philosophy has made me feel better about myself, yet be more cynical, even though I was very cynical before this already. HAHA. I know that's a paradox, but like it has made me question more, and by questioning more, it has made me more aware about what's happening around me, but the thoughts have made me more cynical since I know that humans are so limited in knowledge, and now my crave for knowledge can be branded as 'insatiable'. It's rather sad, isn't it?

That's all I guess. Enough trash for you all to throw away.

2:00 PM

Friday, May 20, 2005

For those who haven't read my previous post, please go read it, and tell me if it's offensive. But honestly, it's not my fault if you look at it from YOUR point of view. It doesn't seem offensive to me from MY point of view.

Well, as I'd already said, s**(SABATTICALS. Merely this and nothing more!) had many actions incorporated into it today. Creative writing I mean. Not P4T, definitely. Nevertheless, I thought it was rather boring, and not challenging. For some reason, Mr Tan kept picking on me. Maybe it's something about my face. Well, for the evaluation form, I gave quite a number of 'disagrees'. So did qiuting. I think the both of us were the only honest ones...

P4T was fun, though I felt that there should have been more discussion than watching. Well, sometimes constructive evidence isn't needed yeah? During the break, Zeena and I went down to Popular to get some snacks. We saw Ms Lye and Karene while eating outside the English staffroom, and invited them to join us. We were discussing about the Science and Religion issue, and I was asking if Ms Lye had a religion. She doesn't, (un)fortunately. So we were eating, and we were asking Ms Lye all sorts of weird questions. She must have thought we were insane. Mrs Tay came out at about 1, and we were asking her to join us. We also told her that we were incorporating philosophy and what we learnt into our everyday lives. Haha...

After the mass lecture, we went to ask Mrs Wesvik and Mrs Tay about the soul, and I asked them if they believed that perceptions make reality. They said that it was hard to answer, and I don't blame them. Anyway, they recommended Sophie's World and Tuesdays with Morrie to us, both of which I have already read. So I was asking them what they thought the soul was, and Mrs Tay was talking about her own experience, about how she felt things in philosophy she never felt before. So I guess she is saying that the soul is moulded by experiences. Mrs Wesvik said something similar, about how we have to experience it ourselves, and how the experiences would shape our soul. Interesting, isn't it?

Anyway, that's all.

7:25 PM

Disclaimer: S** is sab, which is none other than sabatticals. Any other meanings of s** which are really diverse and contain some OTHER innuendo/connotation shall NOT be entertained. Also, the author of the following paragraph will NOT be held responsible for any damage done to anyone. Thank you for your co-operation.

Today was the end of s**. May I hereby wish s** to R.I.P, and offer my condolence. Now, may all readers join our hands and observe a minute's silence for s**. After our virgin time having s**, I should hereby conclude that we all enjoyed having s**, and can't wait for the next opportunity of having s**. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy s** with Mr James Tan, as he seriously bored me out, and I had finished doing the work during s** in a mere time of 10 minutes. I also did not find s** challenging, as it involves nothing but doing. Even though there was alot of action incorporated during today's session of s**, I did not find it creative at all, since Mr Tan only made us do, and not be creative. Also, I found it seriously disappointing after the number of people wrestling to get into the system to register to have their s** session with Mr Tan, but it turned out that it was not challenging, and unproductive at all. Having said that, I would NOT recommend my juniors or any other human being on this Earth to have s** with Mr Tan. You would feel no satisfaction after having a s** session with Mr Tan, seriously.

Reminder: S** is Sab, aka sabatticals. If you choose to think dirty, it doesn't concern me at all.

6:33 PM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

For some weird reason, I suddenly had this ambition to get a scholarship and go overseas to some known university to study law, philosophy and Lit. I am insane, seriously I am.

Anyway, I saw Mrs Ng in the library after CIP. I was sitting in the solitude of the library reading the May 9th edition of the Time magazine, when I heard the familiar tud-tud resounding in the library. It turned out high heels... Out of sheer curiosity, I peeked out of the comics corner and saw the dinosaur of my form teacher sitting docilely(IRONY!) reading the newspapers. I immediately understood the meaning of 'curiosity mangled the cat'.

So enough trash. She was borrowing a Chinese book, and was just a few steps away from me. Phew... It was really freaky. I am not sure if she saw me though. Enough said.

10:58 PM

Please kindly ignore me if I sound really insane, since I did feel insane after the CIP. Nothing to do with the people, but myself. Merely this and nothing more. HAHA(from the parody of Edgar Allen Poe by yours truly).

Creative writing was seriously boring as usual, and I wanted to join Sars in her P4T, but decided against it before Mrs Ng slaughtered me. So in the end, I spent a whole 45 minutes sitting in the Board Room, doing nothing except reading. I seriously hope that this would happen Nevermore(haha!).

I didn't really like Mrs Tay's talk, since I found it rather superficial. Well, Eunice was reflected in the Friends video that was screened. She seemed like the Janice in it, and I am sure the whole class has come to a unanimous decision on that...

The card game during the tutorial was really dumb. Not because I couldn't see the patterns or logic behind it, but I seriously found it stupid. It does prove that Scientific hypotheses are all just focusing on one aspect of Science, but like isn't the card game a kind of hypothesis too? The hypothesis was probably that Science is biased. Well, the card game is also based on one aspect, isn't it? Ok... Ignore this trash.

CIP was rather... I'd rather not comment on it.

Today's tutorial was the last ever in our lives. Interesting, coming to think of it that way.

Some philosophical issues again. I know this is really outdated, but if I were the General in Saving Private Ryan, I wouldn't have done what he did. Well, those of you out there would rebutt and say that they DID help others on the way, but what if they had died? And about the soldiers having mothers too. There wouldn' be war if everyone thought about it this way, since everyone would think that the enemies have mothers too. Then there would be world peace, but seriously, that is too far-fetched for me to buy the story.

That's all I guess.

6:15 PM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Fine. I have a question here. Can I ask everyone to tag and tell me if I am arrogant? Please tell me frankly... I wouldn't cower in one corner and cry after everything you all have said. Thanks.

Well, now that the euphoria has died down, time to update. Creative Writing was boring again, since I have watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone tons of times.

The Mass Lecture seriously was good! Though the lecturer kept contradicting himself in some ways. Halfway through, I came up with a proposition, and had this warped idea to actually raise it. I guess it was the lack of time or either my question was too bad, since he said that we should discuss it in our tutorials instead.

Tutorials was fun! Though I was just helping Eunice put her ideas into words most of the time. As usual, she was insane. Well, I was reading out a passage frmo Sophie's Choice to them when Mrs Ng walked in. The book's great!

Anyway, I think I shouldn't have gotten 6th place in the u-14. And NY was the only school that broke into the quarters that wasn't there. Shows our school's intense support of the debating team yeah?

Philosophical update here. The other group was having a debate on whether knowledge=wisdom. I think knowledge is part of wisdom, so it does equate to wisdom, but wisdom does NOT equate to knowledge. Like wisdom consists of other things besides knowledge, like logic etc... Knowledge, on the other hand, is just knowledge if you get what I mean. So there is this portion in wisdom that has knowledge, thus knowledge=wisdom, but not the other way around. Think about what I said if you want, since what I say is just trash and I am just an arrogant assh*le who doesn't know what she's talking about(sorry, but the arrogant issue here has nothing to do with anyone at all).

8:19 PM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Sorry for the unintelligible post based on philosophy yesterday, but well, there's probably more coming your way. So if you do not wish to get boggled up with trash I churn out, please kindly move your mouse up to the top right hand corner of this window and click on the red box there. Thank you and I am really grateful for your utmost co-operation.

Now the trash over, I shall start my elaboration on today's sabatticals. Obviously, Creative Writing was a flop since half of the class was sleeping away when Mr Tan was telling JOKES. How funny... Irony indeed(alliteration). Well, so after the break, Mr Tan allowed us to write our 16-line poems for our graded assignment. Unfortunately(or fortunately), I finished mine in a mere time of 10 minutes, and was just sleeping for the rest of the 45 minutes. Seriously, I am regretting my choice of sabattical, since even story-telling gets to watch Big Fish. But Mr Tan showed us some of his poems, and we mistook one of them to talk about Mrs Heng, who was just next door. Interesting, isn't it? So we watched Spirited Away, and I started to get confused whether the lesson was on Creative Writing or Animania. Well, I was telling Chun Hing that we are having a Creative Writing lesson that isn't CREATIVE at all. Irony yeah?

Saving Private Ryan was rather disturbing for me, and I was on the verge of tears for no reason. I think Yanne was rather frightened by me, since I apparently appeared to be really traumatised. Well, of course I wasn't traumatized by the gory scenes(though some people were), but more of the ability of humans to hurt each other. Like the minute the Hell Hole was open, the men all started falling like snow. I know that metaphor really doesn't match here, but I can't think of another one at the moment. Like if you were to say that everyone has mothers, there wouldn't be a war, and everyone would be at peace since you would think that the enemy has a mother too. But of course, world peace is impossible. Honestly, I think it would be really amusing if there was this "higher being" watching the war.

Well, P4T tutorial was really amusing. The first part wasn't, when I realised that the 2 files in Mrs Ng's hands were Xr and my CAP portfolio, and it dawned on me that it was D-Day. I forgot about it when we started discussing ethics, since I was still rather disturbed by what happened. Was having a conversation with Eunice before Mrs Ng came in. I was telling her about how leaders in the world are rather pitiful, since like Captain Miller did not have anyone to talk to about his troubles or he was uncomfortable talking to them about it. Somehow, we all experience such moments in life, don't we? If I am not mistaken, Eunice said something about them being able to do so, or they wouldn't be leaders. I guess that's an interesting viewpoint, but I beg to differ. Even though leaders have that quality in them, sometimes, there are weak moments aren't there? The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I know this sounds really ridiculous since I am such a politically incorrect person, but I just felt rather strongly about it.

Anyway, Eunice was rather obscene today for no reason. And what more, I was sitting in between Mrs Ng and her, since Mrs Ng decided to change her seat during the lesson. I used the wrong example of Mr Paul Tan to question Eunice, but it only made people roar even louder with laughter. I was saying about Mr Tan giving Eunice full marks for her Language Arts for selling herself to him(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS TOTALLY FALSE, AND IS JUST AN ANALOGY ON MY PART) as Eunice was commenting on the Jap soldier and the baby. I thought that the question was just a rephrasing of Sophie's Choice, and said it aloud, though fortunately no one heard me. I shall not touch on Sophie's Choice, and leave the reader to do some research on their part. I am evil. Evil I am. Haha! Sophie's Choice is really sad. It's again a case of choices, but well... Go read it if you can.

Well, sorry to all if I get rather snappy and impatient with you all these few days. I am obviously going through one of the hardest times in my life, and I guess you would all realise why soon. Soon meaning next week or so. So in the mean time, please do not probe me for answers as you would get none.

Enough digression. Some philosophical issues here. Actually, what are ethics? According to an online dictionary, ethics are motivation based on ideas of right and wrong. In the first place, then I pose the question of what is right and what is wrong. If this is the definition, then I guess I should be right to say that ethics are based on perceptions, like the ideas of right and wrong are. Well, to me, I guess ethics are rules that you yourself follow. Different people have different viewpoints on ethics, so I guess this is a question we all have to ask ourselves. What do ethics do for us in life? I guess my answer would be that they make decisions for us, help us with our choices. What about yours?

Also, I was thinking about alphabets. Like who invented alphabets in the first place? The purpose is clear, isn't it? As a means of communication among certain humans, since some do not know English. Well, are alphabets then limiting our lives to just words? Sometimes, it's like I wonder about such weird issues that seem unimportant and probably ridiculous to ponder on, but I am an eccentric person, so there... I guess alphabets are nothing more than symbols and like what I said, a mean of communication. By the way, alphabets originated from the Greeks if I am not mistaken... At the moment, I am wondering if it has anything to do with the ancient Greek philosophers at all. Like philo means love, and sophia means wisdom. It's from Greek again. So is English then an imposter? Ok... This is getting out of point. Well, I am just asking another question here, ain't I? So ultimately, are languages helping us express ourselves or creating barriers between us? This is really subjective, so feel free to tag once again. And well, sorry for having to plough through this trash.

8:15 PM

Monday, May 16, 2005

More on P4T.

I really think I am in no place to talk about philosophy since it sort of goes against my religion, but come to think about it, it is possible to do both, as long as you know which one you believe in.

Anyway, I was rather into definitions today, for no apparent reason. Somehow, I think that Philosophy and Science do NOT clash with each other. I think that in fact, both are like parallel lines, trying to prove themselves right, but at the same time not putting the other down, though the "facts" do contradict. Actually, coming to facts, what make facts up? Is it perceptions? In "fact"(IRONY!), like what someone told me today, if people do not say that f+u+c+k is a vulgar word, no one would say it is. If one day, someone said that "fact" is a vulgar word, what would you do? I should be given the right of assumption, and say that you would start rolling on the floor and laughing till you cry. Indeed, if Newton resurrected and said that gravity is fake, I can see the number of Scientists jumping to their deaths, since what they have believed for so long is like wrong. Honestly, everytime someone comes up with a theory, it's like are we nearer to the truth, or is it another safety net for us to fall back on when there is something "unintelligible"? I think that as humans, there is an ego too huge for us to accept the fact that there IS indeed something we do not know, and that's why we need these safety nets to allow us to reaffirm our believes. Like Eve. She probably wanted to "know everything" so that she could be superior to the other animals. But actually, imagine if there WAS a more superior being than humans, and we are but "animals" to those "humans". Like we are a dog, and the other being is the human. I mean, at the moment, we are laughing at other animals, and having this superiority complex that we are the best beings in the world. But imagine if we are not, and one day, this truth comes to light. Imagine that when we are having wars, it's like those "chicken fights" in the olden days, and the "other" beings actually bet on who would win. It's like we are toys to the other beings, such as other animals are toys to us now. I know this is really confusing, so if you don't get it, just click on the cute little red box with a white 'X' on it and get outta this hell.

I guess I should start a new paragraph. Well, it's like if one day, archeologists dig up something that maybe John Forbes Nash wrote. And on that piece of paper, it writes that 2+2 does NOT equal to 4, but it equates to 40. What would people do? Given the right to assume again, I think the world would be in chaos, and well, mathematicians would be found dead and yeah... It's what we believe in that matters most. If one day, that safety net is gone, people would just fall to their deaths. Imagine what would happen to your world one day if your theories/logic/knowledge is all proven wrong.

With that, I shall leave you to think of the trash that I have put up here. Feel free to tag!

8:09 PM

If you are all waiting for my response about the sabbaticals, wait no more.

Creative writing was DEAD BORING. Seriously, I started using my fortunately capped pen to draw imaginary circles on my foolscap paper, and Mrs Ng happened to saunter pass and see me doing so. Mr Tan undoubtedly kept staring at me, since I was just doodling on my paper. He asked us why we joined Creative Writing, and I just gave some dumb cliched answer that went along the line about wanting to write better poetry. So Mr Tan enthusiastically took up the subject of writing poetry, while I stared up at the ceiling like there were flying pigs due to utter boredom. I think he saw me, so I started doodling. Well, how creative Creative Writing is indeed.

We had a break during Creative Writing, and for some reason, the Wushu people told me that I was doomed. So I spent the other half of Creative Writing fretting about how gory my death would be.

Well, Mrs Kristie Tay was not very interesting(objective language used here!), and her joining of the 9 dots was not as good as mine! Haha... I mean, her method works, but I think mine is better, since it's more like complete... Well, who cares? Seriously, I was really bored during the mass lecture, since I was telling my 2/1 friend about it, and Mrs Tay would say it in the next minute. Mind you, I wasn't sitting with the class. Anyway, I came up with a really good argument, and am sure everyone else would agree with me. A: Mrs Tay's lessons are boring. B: She teaches us P4T. C: P4T mass lectures are boring. This is a really good example of a valid and sound argument for sure. Ms Yeo's wasn't a sound one either. Like we are Singaporeans, but do we even have ICs? Mrs Tay, please, if you wanna pick on nitty gritty stuff like this, I could easily be your match.

The tutorial was really fun and interesting! I was rather disturbed though... At the end, we were supposed to write something about what we learnt, and I was asking Eunice "what's the definition of learnt?". Well, and I concluded that it would definitely get back to "what's the definition of definition?" P4T indeed. Mrs Ng was saying that Mrs Heng did not credit her for the idea of showing Big Fish. Mrs Heng, you could be sued with plagarism yeah? Haha...

After school, I was talking to Eunice about Maths, and how it's logic clashes with philosophy, and how we should all boycott Maths. Like in Philosophy, A=B, but B does not equal A. Unlike Maths, A=B and B=A. So we should all boycott Maths since it doesn't make sense at all. Of course, people would say that we should boycott Philosophy. Well, seriously, I think philosophy makes much more sense than Maths. So Mrs Ng was behind, and overheard our conversation. She joined us, but not for a long time, since I chose to go off earlier. I am not sure if Eunice and Bao continued the conversation, but I went off to the library.

So I shall stop here, and put the haiku that I wrote for Creative Writing here. It's really... Bad.

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5:45 PM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Well, was reading the papers, and there is this case of a brain-dead woman again. I would go for euthanasia, personally, but I am certain that the OB(out-of-bounds) markers that society deems to be right would raise a whole big commotion about what my choice would be. To me, not everything can be defined by the law. Like sex. If there is no intercourse, it can't be sex, can it? Same with pornography. If a naked person is deemed as pornography, then I must say that this world is depressing. But when hasn't it been? Haha... Even though the AMD(advance medical directive) is here in Singapore, but so what? It's deemed as wrong in society to conduct euthanasia, and nothing more can be said. So the Government is trying to tell us that being dependent on medical equipment for all your life is better than the quality and dignity you get to preserve your life in. So it is better to continue living in pain and torment those around you then letting go. Well, it's a baised point of view, but it is mine, so I do not mean any harm here, and since bloggers are not protected by the First Amendment Right yet, I'd better stop here before my pants get sued off.

Guess who's taking P4T? Our beloved form teacher... No offence to her fans out there. Well, I don't mind, but of course, I am just shocked. If it is a mass lecture, sorry to the class, but I would be joining Yanne since I know that I need a break from everyone, and so does everyone need a break from me, since I am such a cantankerous and unpredictable person. Digression.

Anyway, I was thinking about true beauty again. I must agree with xr that true beauty does not exist, and that all those talk about true beauty is just nonsense. I know that this is just a sweeping statement, and mind you, I do not want to become another Mr Phillip Yeo here. People all have different definitions of true beauty, but in my eyes, I think true beauty does not exist at all. Well, maybe through Maths and Science to people, but not to me. Nothing else to add before you all get bored stiff. May write a poem now. Depends.

6:32 PM

Friday, May 13, 2005

I realised this morning during PCCG that yesterday could well have been my last ever debates practice, and it had to go so badly, with Ram so unhappy about CCA commitment and other issues...

Assembly was rather hilarious, especially about the FOA, when those 3 musketeers sang that song, and the girl was saying "turd", which is supposed to be 3rd. Anyway, I was telling Faustina about the significance of the song, since it was all soppy and about leaving. I was saying that they should sing it as the last item so to remind the guests that they have to pay before they leave. What a sense of humour I've got...

PCCG was rather sad for me. I nearly broke down during PCCG. Besides the fact that yesterday's debates was probably the last for me, the fact that today's PCCG may be my last also dawned on me. So I was rather depressed till the end of Language Arts, and thus did not wish to contribute to the class discussion. It turned out that our OM group had gotten into trouble for the foolish remark that we(rather I) wrote in our feedback form, since we were really not serious about it. Mrs Ng was rather angry, but I didn't bother explaining since I was feeling depressed. I nearly ran out of the class at the end of PCCG, but decided against it since it wouldn't help at all. What would running away do?

I had my 2.4km run during recess, and we did it with 2/12. My timing was 16.21, and there's nothing more to say, is there? Oh yeah... Would like to thank Jiamin, Xin Rong, Karene, Melesa, Qiu Ting, Claire, Pam, Pui, Faus and Vinette for supporting us! Well, there was this 2/12 girl called Jolene as well who collapsed, and some people from our class thought that I had fainted again. What a uncanny coincidence...

The run resulted in us being late for Chinese, but Chinese was quite boring. Shall make this clarification here. I would be able to help with the preparation, but I refuse to speak since I would be like the Malay woman in the video(unintelligible). But you all would have to translate my prepping(debates term) to Chinese since I am such a Chinese-retard. By the way, PREP mean point, reason, example and point again. It's a cycle... For more information, please approach the debater(aka me) by email or of course, personally.

Science was boring. Nothing more to add.

We went to apologize to our mentor for our silly remark during lunch, and saw Mrs Ng talking to Ms Choo. I was tempted to use my water bottle to spray water at Mrs Ng, but had to resist my temptation. Our mentor did not hold it against us as she said that we were unaware that she was absent. I feel that even though we were unaware, we were still in the wrong, but at least she doesn't hold it against us. In fact, she was laughing. Right...

Maths was boring too.

After school, the 2/2 geography rep had passed me the geog marks sheet, and told me that the class had to sign it, but before that, I had to round up the marks for Mrs Chan. When I got back to class, I saw this bunch of people crowding around my table, and it seriously reminded me of ants. Bugging me... Right. Pun fully intended. So I politely asked if I could have the paper back.
Me: Could I please have the paper back to round up the marks?
Others: *oblivious to my impassioned plea*
Me: Could I have the bloody marks sheet back to round up the marks, damn it?!
Peirong: OK. *Snatches the marks sheet out of some desperate person clinging on to the marks sheet as tightly as a koala bear clings to a tree.*

Thanks Peirong. So when I was done rounding the marks up, tons of people were crowding around me again, and when I wanted to leave my seat, the people at the back of me did not allow me to do so. I had to shout "WOULD YOU GET OUT OF MY WAY?!" and add the f**k word before anyone would allow me out. Urrgh. Bernice sensed that I was really pissed, but I obviously couldn't say why in case the class started a rebellion against me. Sorry Bernice. Mrs Chan did not add our group's New Town assignment mark into the marks sheet, thus we didnt sign. And I still have the marks sheet, since more than half of the class had been annihilated when I had gotten back.

So Mrs Chan gladly decided not to be in the staffroom. Thus, Sharon, Bao and I had to print the geog report out again, and get someone to put it on her desk. It was the 3rd time we were printing the report out. Interesting, isn't it...

Anyway, I shall go off before I actually explode with anger from what happened.

5:18 PM

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I am seriously not looking forward to tomorrow at all, and I shall kindly elaborate on it later.

Language Arts was pretty much a nightmare, since Mrs Ng said that we may be looking at MY poem tomorrow. In no way am I a good poet, so laugh your heads off. She also said that I was like her ex-students in many ways, but I seriously hope I am not as snobbish and crazy over her as them. 'Corlection'. I am NOT like them AT ALL. So she said that my parody was funny, and I was so embarrassed. Well, I hate showing my work, and like especially in front of the class, with the whole world knowing who wrote it. Even if my work is interesting, I don't like to boast about it since intellect is known to be a synonym of folly, as NYGH is an acronym of a mental hospital. Please ignore the previous sentence, as I am not a politically correct person at all. I am contemplating feigning illness with the prospect of the humiliation tomorrow. But there is a chance that I don't even need to do so. As long as I don't eat my breakfast. Right...

Jiamin was the possessed photographer today, and she was snapping photos of people like me during ITE. Poor innocent songbirds like me were literally shot. I was thoroughly bored during ITE, besides the fact that Xin Rong's mutiliation of Darth Vader was indeed humurous. I bet Pei Rong would be fuming when she sees this, but I have the right to say it yeah?

Our group enjoyed ourselves tremendously during the Project Work session, since we all had a great time writing sarcastic and ironic remarks in the report, as well as the feedback form. Here's an excerpt.

Mrs Ng: Who's your teacher in charge?
Me: Mdm Toh...
Xin Rong: Do we even have a mentor?
Me: I seriously doubt so...
Mrs Ng: *Pauses and stares at me* Is that supposed to be an irony?

Anyway, I realised that I hadn't bothered to send the edited copy of the report to my gmail, and it had all those smart-alecky comments in it. Fortunately, our beloved mentor did not catch a glance of it. I was really sarcastic with the feedback form. Well, firstly, for the open-ended questions, we wrote that the most enjoyable thing about OM was the end of OM. The second question was about the 2 most important lessons learnt in OM if I am not mistaken. We wrote 1: Independence, 2: Creativity. The last question was about suggestions, and we wrote that we should have more time, since we thought that the teachers wouldn't be able to appreciate this genre of humour. Unfortunately(or fortunately), they got us to ELABORATE on the answers, and I was especially sardonic since I was really bored, and they wanted elaboration. I was tempted to write in the remarks "Define...." but was stopped by my group members. For the first question, of course there wasn't anything to elaborate on. There was tons to elaborate on for the second question apparently. For the independence part, we wrote that our mentor had kindly abandoned us. On the part of creativity, we wrote about being able to think on our feet if I am not wrong... My memory is failing. The last question was the most politically correct of course. Anyway, Ms Lily Chua was so ironic! Firstly, our mentor had gone off, and she came over with our feedback form and told us that Mdm Toh was absent for the past few weeks, and it wasn't that she had abandoned us. Situational irony indeed.

Chinese was quite boring, as we were watching this debate and I did not understand a single thing. Well, the format is really different from the English debates, and I had thereby concluded that English debates is my cup of tea.

Maths was totally hilarious, since we got back our tests, and I was amazed that I did not get a 0. Well, I am pretty confident of passing my Maths quiz.

CME was a total bore. I was telling Seraphina that we should indeed read "The Raving", the parody of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" by me, to Lao Shi. "Madam, of you I beseech, to end this horrendous speech. Quoth, the preacher, 'Nevermore'."

NAPFA was quite good for me, since I had achieved 3Bs and 2As. My shoes were really slippery, and could have been used for ice-skating. Ferly was so kind to lend me her sports shoes. Thanks Ferly, though I know you probably wouldn't read this. I actually did 40 sit-ups! Well, I'd finished 30 in half a minute, and was just slacking for the rest.

There's 2.4 tomorrow. Well, I'd probably faint again. Ms Chang was in charge of the sit-and-reach station, and she was asking me if I was alright. She then told me not to come to school without breakfast again. I guess the whole staffroom knows about it now. Urrgh. Faustina was so frustrated that she had missed A by 1 CM, and made the huge mistake of saying "sadam hussein". Of course it's not sadam but the other word... Ms Chang minused 10CM off her sit-and-reach score for misuse of word. Sounds so much like Language Arts yeah?

Anyway, that's all. Shall play a few games, and listen to my new Lena Park CD.

7:53 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Parent-teacher meeting day is on 27th of May, so everyone, please buy me a coffin. Preferably made out of rosewood, but since it's way too expensive, you could use balsa wood. I sincerely wish something like The Day After Tomorrow would happen.

Anyway, Language Arts was seriously depressing. Seeing the class being motivated by the sole motivation, which is competition/marks is really saddening, thus I did not wish to answer the questions, except once, when I said White Man's Burden and Mrs Ng went no... But it turned out that I was correct. And my group, especially Seraphina, was very worked up. She kept hitting me on the arm, for no reason. See what competition makes us become? Sad...

Chinese was finally interesting, as we were watching the cartoonised version of "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms".

Well, I am pretty sure I flunked my Science practical assessment, since I know that I am not pratical/logical person myself and talk in riddles all the time. Unfortunately, the beauty of Science does not permit one to write riddles since the Scientists are all so dense and do not understand things in abstract terms.

Mrs Chan was really generous and gave our group 26.5 for our presentation! Woohoo! Well, our presentation was really silly, wasn't it... But I thought it was good! And it's OUR presentation, not yours. Right... Why am I speaking in riddles again?

I calculated and found out that even if I got 3/10 of this History test, I would still pass with a B4. Interesting, isn't it? That a retard like me can get a B4... If this test is not in the CA1, then I would get an A2 for History... Finally an A in the bleak horizon...

Irene was in the library when I went there. I tried to borrow Akira Kurosawa's Dreams, but was told that it was in the clutches of a teacher. When I asked the librarian which teacher it was, she refused to divulge the identity, saying that it was private and confidential. On the noticeboard, there was this interview with teachers about the canteen food. I made an amazing discovery that Mr Tan(Derek) could speak in Yoda language! His favourite stall is the Chicken rice stall, and when asked why, he said "Chilli nice, rice good, chicken tender". When you read it backwards, it goes "Tender chicken, good rice, nice chilli". I seriously think the latter sounds more correct than the first, which sounds rather intelligible, given Mr Tan's intelligence to speak Yoda language.

Anyway, that's all folks.

4:58 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Anyway, I've been feeling rather dizzy for the whole day. Shall have a short post I hope, then go for my bath.

I haven't handed in my Chinese file, as I was unaware that we were supposed to hand it in yesterday, and only found my Chinese file in some obscure place yesterday evening. Let's pray that Lao Shi isn't coming to school again tomorrow.
The unknown voice from above: Zheng Lao Shi's leg got bitten off by a dog, thus she is unable to come for lessons this whole week.
Fine. That was really evil.

I did not take the 2.4km run as I was feeling unwell, due to the Milo I had drunk this morning and of course, the fainting fit yesterday. Due to a *certain person*, I have so unfortunately developed a phobia for Milo.

Mrs Lee did remember me fainting yesterday as she came up to me while I was talking to Melesa and the rest, and patted my head(oh yuck) and asked if I was better. Well, I was, as I did not faint during the Majulah. I felt as though there were a thousand pairs of eyes on me during assembly. Interesting, isn't it?

Mrs Ng was really blur, and came in during Chinese. She only realised that she wasn't supposed to be in class when I told her. Talk about oblivation.

We did The Romance of the Three Kingdoms today, and I was really bored. To most of you, I am probably a banana(a "superficial" Chinese) due to my poor grasp of the Chinese language and detest of the subject.

During Language Arts, my water bottle kindly decided to have a leak(pun fully intended). I was somehow feeling rather giddy at the start of Language Arts, and thus did not contribute as I would have wished to in the making of the comic. Apologies to my other group members... Well, I thought Qiu Ting was rather clever, and though her devils looked more like "pikachus", it was good nevertheless. I am so sorry for being such a critique, as I do not have the qualities to be one anyway. But as usual, not everyone appreciates humour the way I do.

Chinese drama was quite silly. Faus, Karene and I did a roleplay surrounding the subject of news reporting, and I was really unprepared, since my Chinese is really bad. I wished it was in English instead. But not everything goes your way yeah? We played "zong ji mi ma" after the roleplaying. Lao Shi got sabotaged by Lu Theng! It was the last round, and Lao Shi had to go "Godzilla am I" and flap his hands around. Talk about slapstick humour. Lao Shi is indeed a good example.

You know, I am seriously starting to wonder if I had ever offended Mrs Ng or Mrs Teo in my past life. I must keep arguing with them, for no apparent reason. Anyway, I didn't get to talk about euthanasia, and AMD(Advance medical directive), which is another name for living wills. Sad...

It turned out that the recent Maths test is not counted in the CA marks! Alleluia! That was probably the best news I had heard the whole day... Well, Ram smsed during lunch and said that something important had cropped up, and that Debates was postponed to Thursday, though we have NAPFA. What a pity...

The New South Wales competition was just pure guessing on my part. If I ever manage to scrap a pass, it must be due to sheer luck and coincidence, and nothing else. In fact, I was rather tempted to write some nonsense in the open ended to "piss"(fine... it's incorrect language) the people marking it, though I know only machines would be looking at it.

So Jiamin and I took flight and went to Coronation Plaza, where I went to get stock up on cup noodles as well as instant soup. I am a really unhealthy person, and thus eat such food. Jiamin had to get her school uniform, thus I accompanied her there. We saw Ms Yeo on the escalator. Oh yes! How could I forget the Maths lesson? Sorry... Digression here.

Maths lesson was really hilarious! Ms Lee is really in a world of her own. Although our group was throwing stuffed dogs around, Ms Lee did not once see it till around the end of the lesson. Well, she was talking about Ms Yeo saying that we were a really good class, and Seraphina was really mean about it, saying in a highly audible voice that it was because we hadn't changed teachers. Fortunately(or unfortunately), Ms Lee didn't hear Seraphina's highly impassioned plea/snide remark and thus didn't run out of the classroom crying.

Anyway, I shall go for my long awaited bath now. See you around!

5:45 PM

Monday, May 09, 2005

Sometimes, I wonder if true beauty even exists in a world so bleak as this.

Perhaps beauty is indeed an illusion, the biggest ever. Like hypocrisy, which is closely linked, the world is made up of illusions, of academics, politics, money etc. When you don't need someone, people always say that they are there for you. But when you dearly need this special person, no one seems to be there, no matter how many times you knock on the door.

Like stereotypes of the world, Bob Ewells and Mayella Ewells are all over the place. Bob Ewells are present as schoolyard bullies, while Mayellas are of course the supposed victims of the place. Where have all the Scouts, Jems and Dills gone to? Especially when you are in dire need? The answer, of course, is there they are all illusions; they come like the wind, and go like the wind.

Dwelling in fanciful fantasies would indeed do no one any good. Delusions, in fact, lift a person so high that when the little puffs of clouds are finally gone, there are only thin tendrils of smoke that capture you, arising from the charred pieces of wood where the past, the fantasies, had been. Then, in that sudden outburst, the Heavens would start firing their machine guns, and this time, the effect would be even greater than before.

Lusting for true beauty. Take for example a little droplet in the ocean. If the little drop wanted to change the course of the whole vast ocean, tell me, is it possible?! Have you, since you were a little kid, seen an ocean ever change its direction? Everyone says the two words 'starting afresh' like it's the easiest thing in the world. Everyone says that letting go is really simple. But deep down, we all know that when we are at that crossroad ourselves, we know that it is hard, that it is near impossible. So what is the point of carrying on looking at the world through rose-tinted lenses? Indeed, it is man to live in fantasies, to daydream. Indeed, not everyone is like me.

So ultimately, I lust for true beauty, helplessly and hopelessly praying that one day, beauty would stand by itself, rid of the hypocrisy surrounding it, strong enough to ward off every one of its attackers. But when will this dream come true? Will it ever come true?

Of course, we all love hypocrisy, as well as Mayella and Bob Ewells.

9:12 PM

Well, to Eunice. The many times I knew I needed help, I asked, and either 1. no one gave it to me 2. it was just another betrayal. Perhaps the person who kept giving me the 2nd "treatment" should know why I keep ignoring you now.

I fainted in school today. Does not taking breakfast actually make you faint? Halfway through the Majulah(sp?), I suddenly felt my vision getting blurred, and the next thing, I woke up with the first notes of the school song, hearing Ms Chang say that I had fainted to some other teacher.

So I spent the whole morning in the sick bay, where I felt like a prisoner. Mrs Ng came in the morning, and for some reason, I felt rather ashamed of myself and tried to cover my face with my hand. Unfortunately, the other Chinese teacher there had to remove my hand, to reveal my hideous face, to reveal my sorry plight for the whole entire world to mock at and gloat over.

Mrs Ng bought a cup of Milo and a sandwich for me. I had to drink the Milo under her close scrutiny, and really felt like throwing up after that. The sandwich was left untouched, and we shall keep that in view.

During Chinese, as lao shi wasn't here, Sars, Sai, Jiamin, Irene, Sera and Peirong came to see me shortly after the bell rang. Peirong was fascinated by the wheelchair, and broke one bit off in her excitement. Actually, Sars was telling me that some people did not even know that I wasn't in class. Interesting, isn't it?

After they had gone off, Xin Rong and Karene came. They made a fuss when I said that I did not want to eat the sandwich, and tried to force it down my gullet, but to no avail. They then threatened to get Mrs Ng, and I was saying that even if she came, I wouldn't eat it. So they got Ms Lye, as Mrs Ng obviously was having a lesson. Ms Lye tried to get me to eat it, but when I said I didn't want to, she said that I should at least get a drink and got a mug from Mrs Chek. Oh... How honoured I felt, I nearly fell on my knees and worshiped her. Right... So I had to force another cup of water down my throat, and feel even more nauseous.

While the rest were having PE, Sars sneaked in to see me as Ms Ong had divided them into batches, and her batch had recess at that time. I felt much better, and thus went to join the rest of the class at the field though I was still rather cold.

I got to sit back and relax for once during Mass Dance. Zona was with me, and we were chatting. Mrs Ng happily sauntered towards me, and asked if I was still cold, and I said yes, since it was so apparent with my jacket. She then touched my hand so suddenly I didn't have time to withdraw it, and went "Oh dear... So cold!" or something along that line. She then asked me if I had eaten anything during recess, and of course, I had to confess I didn't. So the Great One commanded that I drink 5 cups of Milo during lunch break, but my jaw just dropped down, and yes, that's really impolite but didn't Atticus(s) do that too? In the end, she brought the number down to 3, and got Sars and Sai to escort me there, as she said that I had a low level of sugar in my blood. If this goes on, I would soon have to go for dialysis...

Class contact time was a nightmare in daylight(paradox). Mrs Ng came in, and one of the pieces of paper was later recognized by me to be the CIP reflections, and was praised by the great one to be very good(most of it was laced with sarcasm). She talked about failing the Maths and Science tests, and about taking care about yourself. Of course, my fainting fiesta had to be highlighted, and so the whole class knows about it, and about the 3 cups of Milo now. Right... She was also talking about how our whiteboard was sprawled with graffiti, and I was saying "That's because teachers do not understand abstract art." Wouldn't you agree? Mrs Ng was also telling us what a coward Mr Tan was as he was afraid of fainting, due to some gory articles he had read. No offence!

I did not participate much during Dance due to the fact that I did not want my hand to break. I landed on this 2/4 girl in the morning(the following recount is according to what Sars told me), and she gave a small scream and leapt back. I fell on my palm I think... My hand was smarting when I gained conciousness at least.

That rounds up my day. I'd better type out the CIP reflections before Mrs Ng slaughters me.

4:16 PM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Well, after one full day of thinking, I finally realised that thinking so deeply is indeed not worth it, as no one sure understands you.

As usual, I am being really cynical here, so please ignore the following post if you all do not want to hear a true blue cynic's words, since it isn't worth your precious time. I just need to get some issues off my chest before I start suffering from serious constipation or stomach ulcer haemorrhage(God-knows-what).

Honestly, I do not see what's wrong about thinking so deeply and being cynical, but since the rest of the world doesn't see it that way, I shall stop being like that in front of you all, though I have no choice at times.

So ultimately, the whole issue boils down to the fact that not everyone is like me, and I cannot expect them to be as cloning is on the banned list of the United Nations, and Singapore so unfortunately follows the rule.

Right. So much for my random rantings.

6:30 PM

Saturday, May 07, 2005

The lone Joker that sees through the delusion. That is a quote from Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaardner, one of my favorite books. I feel that I can really relate to the Joker in the book. The Joker that sees too much and thinks too deeply. Frode, the master, in turn calls him "a little fool". For what? Thinking too much, knowing the truth behind everything. In the end, the other cards all wanted to kill the Joker, for the same reason, that he saw what they didn't. My name is actually reflected in the Joker, if you realised. JOker. If you all don't understand this, just take this as rantings from an insane person who should be chucked into the asylum as her flu and headache have kindly damaged her brain. Sometimes, I really wish there was someone out there for me. What I mean by someone is my twin soul, someone who shares my views. Like the Joker, he was the only one, as he did not belong to the Diamonds, Clubs, Hearts or Spades. When he then tried to explain the truth to others, they just threatened to kill him. The lone Joker then broke into tears, though he's supposed to be a clown, happy and joyous. I feel that my life-story is reflected in it. Whenever I try to tell others the truth, they often shun me, drinking down the lie-nectar(Solitaire Mystery) that allows them to carry on living in delusion. But how much lie-nectar can there be?

Last night, I had an interesting conversation with Sera on MSN. We talked about religion wars, philosophy. A cynic knows the value of nothing, and the price of everything. Who said that?! You all should know! But unfortunately, none of you probably know... I hate it when I am all alone, no understanding from others. Although the Joker was the trickiest and smartest of the whole magic island, even smarter than Frode the Master, who could understand him? Who could understand where he was coming from? No one... He was the lone Joker. The one who sees through Destiny must live through it too. It really makes me wonder; is all the thinking that I am doing worth it? As thinking is seen as a waste of time, so is moral courage seen as folly. I really feel like giving up now. What's the point of dragging myself on hopelessly? Does anyone realise why I've been getting migraines? I can never sleep at night, because of all the thoughts running through my head, the little tendrils that slowly suffocate me, everything enveloped in a miasma of deafening yet eerie silence. Maybe I am just being cynical to you. But no one was ever there to help me. No one wanted to think beyond academics. Only Joker... Only Joker alone in the truth, who has to live in the agony of Destiny because he saw through it. Is it worth it...

Talk about compassion, victimizing. WHO EVER SHOWED ME COMPASSION?! WHO EVER KNEW THAT I WAS A VICTIM OF MYSELF?! No one... No one ever showed understanding to me. So WHY SHOULD I DO THE SAME TO YOU? Because I am the little fool... Who ultimately saves the pack of cards but has to live through destiny... The agony of the truth that was discovered... Who ever cared?...

7:54 AM

Friday, May 06, 2005

I am very tired at the moment, and suffering from a severe migraine and a slight flu. Well, today was quite bad, with the MAJOR DEBATE as well as dental appointment, which was a mental torture(note the rhyme).

It was NPCC day, so we got to stand outside our class for assembly. Faustina was asking me what would happen if she had poured water on the people marching, and we were laughing abt it with Zeena. Then Faustina was saying that if there were terrorists, the person giving the commands would have to say run before they could go. I then said that the person would go "contingent, contingent, ALAMAK!" since it was all supposed to be in Malay. We were all chortling away, and Mrs Ng so unfortunately caught us and went "JOLENE!" and glared murderously at me.

During PCCG and Language Arts, I probably wasted the whole class' time when I debated with the Great One for half of the lessons. Apologies, people. So we were debating about things from Society to School(SNS). I conducted a verbal survey, and half of the people surveyed did not even know what was going on. The other half said I wasn't rude, and a minority said that they wanted to argue with the Great One but was too afraid to do so. Well, so it seems like I am the anti-hero of the day.

We did nothing about the comic strip, and neither did I want to do anything since I am as artistically inclined as I am socially inept. See the connection yourself. Eunice finally read out the parody of Edgar Ellen Poe by the Obscure Author(aka me). Let's pray no happy teacher comes by this remote blog here. The whole class including Mrs Ng obviously knows who wrote it, and who the teacher is. Honestly, I don't really think Mrs Ng's a bore, but it's just a stereotype of teachers. So while Eunice was making full use of her oratical voice, Mrs Ng was staring at me. Well, I may add a list of the topics we talked about during the major debate, but it depends on whether my migraine gets better or not.

We had Dance before Science, and I missed about half of the dance lesson because of my dental appointment!

Science was all about balancing equations, of which I can't even remember how to do now.

For the whole Maths lesson, we did (dis)cussing for our Maths SIA. Our group finished rather early, and we were all learning to be ambidextrous on the board. I am ambidextrous! Right...

Maths tuition was so funny. We were chatting with Ms Lee and chatting away for half of the lesson. My Maths Journal was really ludicrous... And I still haven't perfected the Art of drawing straight lines. Sad...

So here's the list of the topics of the debate.
1. Society; "branded schools".
2. Respecting others' culture. (HC people not having sportsmanship. Like RJ people do. No offence.)
3. Being optimistic(tell me how ironic this can go...)
Me: If a white sheet of paper has a black dot on it, we can't say it's a white sheet of paper isn't it?
Mrs Ng: But I choose to look at the white sheet of paper instead. (really, if she does, she won't be dissing our school every day.)
Me: The truth sure hurts.
Mrs Ng: Of course. I used to be like you when I was your age. (Right. I nearly hyperventilated here)
4. Stereotyping.
5. Having the right to speak what you think.
Me: I may not agree with what you say, but I respect your right to say it. But unfortunately, the Soceity isn't like that. Look at the PAP's Speakers' Corner. It's just a bird sh*t-ing place now.
*A few sentences down*
Mrs Ng: I respect your right to say it...

Talk about copyrights indeed. We have another Jayson Blair in the making.

5:59 PM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Amandy, Yanne and I were just talking about the school as a whole. Though we were stereotyping the people of our school, meaning that we were being prejudiced towards them, the truth does hurt. Of course, we can't go around deluding ourselves and complimenting people all the time, as the compliments would all then be extravagent and self-indulging hyperboles.

Well, I may elaborate on the conversation later, but due to the fact that it is really politically incorrect, as deemed by people in my school, I do not want to be thrashed tomorrow or have this beloved blog on the screen during the next assembly session. I believe that I dont deserve this honour.

Anyway, Chinese was boring. So boring, I nearly fell asleep but only managed to keep awake by chatting with Jia Min.

Language Arts was rather funny, due to the fact that I kept refutting Mrs Ng as usual. When Mrs Ng was saying that we probably didn't like her lessons, Jia Min went "JOLENE DOES!" Honestly, I am innocent, so why drag me into the love between you and your momsie yeah? Mrs Ng showed us some of Gary Larson's Far Side Away comics. We were all sitting/standing/squating/God-Knows-What around her, and I was telling Shiru that it reminded me of a granny telling one of those stories. The comics were all really, really silly, although they were humurous.

We had already finished our report, so we were just clearing our OM cabinet(or God-knows-what) for the first half of the lesson. We finished 5 minutes early, so we were practising spontaneous questions already. When we were clearing the rubbish, Ming Yi who is supposed to be the wicked witch who wants to destroy the Earth actually volunteered to bring the trash down to the recycling bin! Talk about irony indeed. Our mentor finally found her way back to the classroom, though we were all really amazed she did. Spontaneous questions are so fun!

Jia Min and I were doing spontaneous questions during History as the teachers were so boring, I would have fallen asleep had they stayed on for another minute.

The Maths test was a killer paper indeed. I am bound to fail it, though I had spent so much time studying. I did not understand the graphs at all, thus I left the graph questions all blank. Right. I am so dead.

So I was saying that Amandy, Yanne and I were having a conversation about the school just now. Amandy was expressing her disgust at those who kept dissing our school, aka Mrs Ng, who used to take her for English Society. Not that I like Mrs Ng dissing our school, but sometimes, as I have already said, the truth hurts. Behind every line of fiction, there's always a thread of truth.

Like the problem about people in our school speaking really badly. I don't approve of it in any way, but like what Yanne said, it makes us unique, though not in the good way of course. If there were no speech lessons, what would become of our school? Honestly, I don't agree that speech lessons make a great difference since most of the girls in our school do not even bother to watch their language outside speech classes, but it does make a really slight difference.

Amandy was also talking about this interview with various Ministers from the MOE. She was saying that the other girl besides Cindy and herself was really quiet, and when that girl did speak, she was really soft and couldn't even be heard. Honestly, the girls in our school only talk 'behind the scenes'. Not talk, but whine. Like after the Maths test today, there were two girls(not from our class) who were whining. I got so irritated, I just shouted at them 'would you stop whining, damn it?" I know it is rather rude, but honestly, I can't stand such people. Tons of people were staring at me, though the girls didn't hear me.

Also, when Wen Jia and I were sitting in the peace of the library, of course there was this group of secondary 4 girls who wouldn't give us the solitude from whining that the library was supposed to. Instead of just sitting there quietly appreciating literary works, they were looking at their SMSes from their boyfriend/grandad/pet dog and laughing at the top of their voices, not giving any consideration for anyone around them. If they had carried on for another 10 seconds, I would have gone straight up to them and told them to shut up like what I did to the 2 girls. I really wonder what the 4 years(rather 3 and a half years) in this school has taught them about self-awareness and consideration. I guess it's nothing, since they are all so good at academics(IQ) but would get 0 for EQ.

What's the point of raising the flag to half-mast each morning if they do not even learn from our past leaders what EQ means? EQ means being able to hold others of lower, equal or higher ranking than you with respect and the consideration you would like yourself. Do unto others what you would like done unto you! I can't blame them since our school isn't a Catholic school, but isn't the Bible the most widely read and the first literary work? Ignorance of what's going on in the world around them. They only know how to whine and shriek about how badly they did for tests, how cute their boyfriend is and how they kick their pet dogs when they are in a bad mood.

Please ignore the above since it is so politically incorrect. For some people in the school who are different, I hereby apologize as I have just stereotyped the girls in our school to be whiny assh*les and has then been prejudiced towards you people out there, who try to be different. But honestly, just a small group of people is enough to ruin the school's reputation. A white sheet of paper is no longer white if it has a black dot on it, isn't it?

6:58 PM

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

It's Wednesday again. For the first time in about a month, I finally got to attend assembly. And tomorrow, there's History! Hurray! Of course, project work as well, when our beloved mentor kindly abandoned us last week.

Lao Shi returned us our scripts today, and I fortunately flunked it. Interesting eh? The first Chinese test I ever flunked, the last I would ever take in my life. Thanks alot Lao Shi, for helping me set this record. (sarcastic remark, mind you)

During Language Arts, I was suddenly feeling really energetic, probable spurred on by the motivation Lao Shi gave me, thus I was rebutting almost everything Mrs Ng said, especially when she was insulting us. So she concluded that I was probably the only person who could verbally spar with her, and currently, I am wondering if I did go overboard... Anyway, she was singing the "I m so sexy" song from the 'Far Far Away Idol', and she changed it to that she was to sexy for our school. I was really tempted to go "You are too sexist, too sexist for our school" but well... I still like the feeling of my head on my shoulders.

We got back our tests for Geography as well, and I PASSED!!! This is the first test beside the quiz on populations that I actually managed to pass! We didn't get to present though. What a pity...

I totally blanked out during the Science test. I am certain I am gonna flunk it. Sigh...

Assembly was funny! Peirong was saying that the pun of the day was "Question Ma(r)k". We all started laughing. Fortunately, Mrs Tieh wasn't there to 'corlect(correct)' us for having such a good 'thumb(time)'. Well, I agree that Speech lessons are redundant, as it's just once a fortnight, and just an hour. If you don't take note of how you actually speak outside Speech classes, what's the whole bloody point? I know if the Management ever comes here, I would get about 10 demerit points and get expelled from the school, but honestly, I have done nothing to say that I am from that school, so you can't make sweeping statements about my identity.

We had the New South Wales Science quiz today, and I was so tired at the end, I just started guessing the answers. Well, another fail in my portfolio.

I am awaiting another Red F tomorrow, since there's a Maths test on the topic I am the weakest at. Alleluia! Please buy a coffin for me... Thanks.

5:31 PM

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

For some reason, Seraphina and I suddenly had this warped idea of asking Mrs Ng for one of her written works.

So we trotted off merrily into the sunset. Kidding... We trotted to the English staffroom, where Sera was peering into the staffroom and saw Mrs Ng marking our folders. There was this teacher, Mr Jalaini(sp?) if I m not mistaken, who opened the door and nearly crashed into Sera. Finally Mrs Ng came out. Sera pushed the whole plan to me, saying I had something to ask Mrs Ng when it was totally untrue! So we were pushing it to each other and Mrs Ng was looking at us with the dont-waste-my-time look. While we were talking halfway, the people who were applying to NUS High came, and so the whole conversation was diverted. It turned out that because some of them had asked Ms Lee for a testimonial, and as we all know, we are not allowed to do so and would cause the poor teacher to get into trouble. So Mrs Ng was nagging about it as usual, and then she asked those who asked Ms Lee their reasons, and for some warped logic, I spoke up. I was saying that they probably assumed that because Ms Lee was a teacher, she should know better, and so they just asked her in case they could have gotten a testimonial. Mrs Ng didn't have a rebuttal for what I said, so she was like "Jolene, are you one of those who applied? No right? So may the prosecution rest." Right. In the first place, I wasn't representing the prosecution. I was the defense counsel, and wasn't on HER side. What an assumption... So she carried on talking about Ms Lee. The interesting part of the conversation.
Mrs Ng: You know that Ms Lee is new here, and doesn't know the policies of the school. She is innocent...
Me: *whispers to Sera* And naive.
Mrs Ng: *stares* So you all shouldn't get her into trouble!
Sera: *whispers back* Can we go and eat now?
Me: *whispers* You could get some popcorn if you want. I still wanna watch this interesting drama.

Well, well... Then at the end, Mrs Ng was like "Jolene, next time, please don't give your two cents comments ok?" Right. Who's the one assuming here? She first scolded me for giving my assumption, then after that, assumed that I was on her side. How ironic...

Anyway, Science test is tomorrow, and I have to cram as much information as possible into my already exploding head. So I shall start putting the stuffing into the turkey now. See ya!

4:55 PM