The reader accepts, on reading of this disclaimer, that the Internet is a vast wasteland of crap that spews out of human minds. This blog is no different. Any assumptions or conclusions that the reader draws from this blog are not the responsibility of the author, along with any physical or psychological harm that might result from the reading of this blog.
Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.
Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.
Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.
Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.
Friends
Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'
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Chat area
You all know it already, don't you? Ng's leaving... And well, I knew it abou 3 weeks ago but was told to keep it silent.
I found this quote that's really true about a teacher... 'The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself.' -Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton. Good teachers are so hard to come by, yet most of the time, we never notice how much an impact a teacher has left on us until it is too late, as we do in life. At times, we may not even see him/her again, and in my case, I've experienced that before with my Primary 6 Chinese teacher who has gone back to China. The little ironies of life...
I'm holding out for a hero, but my superman is not in sight at all... All I'm holding out for at the moment is Dec 8th, when I finally get to go back. I doubt I'll ever want to come back here after that. I doubt I'll want to do anything. I still haven't found the purpose of my life, and it's not helping with my family in a total mess, school being hell, frequent bouts of sickness and depression. Obviously, even if I died at home, my mom would wait 6 months till the insurance she's spending A$311.04 on will start to cover me. After all, I am a teenager as well (though I act more like a 2 year old) and I need fun instead of solving my mom's problems like what chocolate I gave to visitor's kids. I'm tired of school work, and I'm not doing any homework at home at all. Just rushing through it all in school, unlike what I used to do, which was stay up till about 11 at night to finish some LA homework or History essay.
Sometimes, I just feel like running and running, escaping from reality with my mind. It's been proven impossible, as my mom doesn't give me that space to do so, and neither do the people in school. The former interrupts with questions like where the lights in our (rather HER) new house are positioned, and the latter: You get the vibe.
I miss the times when I could just stand for an hour gazing out at the empty quadrangle, at the gradually brightening sky of imperfect blue... I need that freedom, that peace... I have to form that niche, a place where I can seek solace in. Unfortunately, what happens around me doesn't have this written down in the culture. It's irony, since coming here is supposed to give me more freedom. But, unfortunately, people here do not respect your needs for 1: Intellectual stimulation 2: Peace 3: Intrapersonal matters etc. It bothers me... I'm more of an introvert (yes, yes, gape...), and I need a lot of time to recharge. With all these trivialities, I don't get my breathing space. What more, my mom doesn't care about what I say at all, but expects me to listen to her. Family problems, society, the war in my head, existential problems. What more could I ask for?
Anyway, replies to tags:
Jiamin: YES, I do say so... As in, I'll probably destroy everything like what I always do...
Sheena: HAHA! Of course I remember... (We nearly got poisoned by Mrs Teo, and thrown off the clock tower by Ng...) It's surprising how many people actually visit my blog... Thanks anyway! Miss you all tons too... :(
Peirong: Yes, I do have it... The live version because I can hear screaming girls in the background, but all the same, it's good. Do remind me when you see me online.
Sera: I'll try... You cheer up too...
Faus: Hey! How're you?
Yanne: Haha... Thanks! And hi too...
Jiamin (again. haha...): I know that you're insane... And I don't want to get married because I don't want commitments. Scalp?! I am hyperventilating... Nose? I've fainted... And yes, I'm 165cm. Too bad!
Sars: I know that too... Obviously my brain's been rusting happily away. Thanks for your feedback!
Karene: Cheer up alright? Results aren't the end of the world... Like what Mark Twain said, 'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.' Don't care about results, as they won't really take you far.
That's all, and it's already 11.55 PM. Shall go play Solitaire, despite my mom's displeasure at anything associated with cards.
11:32 PM