The reader accepts, on reading of this disclaimer, that the Internet is a vast wasteland of crap that spews out of human minds. This blog is no different. Any assumptions or conclusions that the reader draws from this blog are not the responsibility of the author, along with any physical or psychological harm that might result from the reading of this blog.
Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.
Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.
Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.
Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.
Friends
Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'
Archives
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010
12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011
06/01/2011 - 07/01/2011
04/01/2012 - 05/01/2012
08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012
09/01/2012 - 10/01/2012
10/01/2012 - 11/01/2012
11/01/2012 - 12/01/2012
12/01/2012 - 01/01/2013
01/01/2013 - 02/01/2013
02/01/2013 - 03/01/2013
03/01/2013 - 04/01/2013
04/01/2013 - 05/01/2013
05/01/2013 - 06/01/2013
06/01/2013 - 07/01/2013
07/01/2013 - 08/01/2013
11/01/2013 - 12/01/2013
12/01/2013 - 01/01/2014
02/01/2014 - 03/01/2014
03/01/2014 - 04/01/2014
05/01/2014 - 06/01/2014
Chat area
Teacher whom/who:
I met in Los Angeles: I apologise for having made your life really difficult, firstly with my horrendous handwriting and choice of pen ink. You're not the first to complain about my handwriting (Ms Yeo said that on my debut Math quiz. Debut's the wrong word, and I'm sure this particular teacher would scream her head off at me for this, but once more, she's probably never going to see it.) and I'm sorry, I didn't, couldn't and wouldn't change it. Sorry for sniggering so frequently, be it appropriate or not. Apologies for all the 'snide' remarks I'd made about you, but really, you got back at me on this too, so I guess we're square? Haha... And I know that the next line sounds really cliched, but well... Your lessons are probably going to stick in my thick cranium forever (yes, it's amazing you got through that wall of junk) and yeah, you're a teacher for a lifetime. (FINE, LAUGH.)
Could not understand my unintelligible Chinese, and thus failed me for Chinese: I shall not attempt to write in Mandarin, as firstly, all sorts of weird symbols would appear since I do not have any Mandarin writing program on my mono-lingual computer, and I'll only make life more difficult for people and myself. That's enough reason. Really, thank you for tolerating my illiteracy in the field of Mandarin, as well as the tough times you had for ploughing through my compositions, that were littered like confetti (at a wedding) with inappropriate words. Also, apologies for not listening to the letter-writing format, and once again, making you suffer severe migraines when marking the 'letters'. Sorry for not listening to you during lessons, and making parodies of the poetry (eg: changing one of the poems in the textbook to a guy being constipated...) as well as misunderstanding what you said and thus resulting in disruption during the lesson (as well as utter humiliation on my part, and a jolt of anger that I'm such a horrible student). I've probably caused you a whole bunch of white hair, as well as cut a few years of your life, and for that, I apologise and thank you for tolerating me.
Petite, adorable teacher whom I never appreciated at all: Yes, that means you, the one who lives in 'Lee-liput'. No, not in Gullivers' Travels, but you get the vibe of it... I'm utter sorry that I'd handed in 3 month late homework, as well as those I'd never handed in. Obviously if you were to pour a pail of water into a cylinder that I'll be in (volume of cylinder: I do not remember), I'll drown. Seriously, if I should thank/apologise to anyone, it would be you. You've stayed back every Friday for an incorrigible idiot like me, and even offered more if I'd been willing to (of course I wasn't...) stay back. I'm sorry I'd disappointed you with my horrible grades in Math (an F9) as I know that I did not try my best (I'm certain I would have at least passed if I'd listened), and once more, my apologies, and you're probably the most patient teacher I've ever met... I know I sound sarcastic like I always do, but I'm not... Same goes to all dedications.
Nearly burst my eardrums: No offence about your extraordinarily loud voice, as if I should blame anyone, it would be the Form Teacher for putting me right in front. It was good that she put me there, for I would never have paid attention if I were left alone at the back... (I used to spend lessons staring at bunsen burners and the beautiful Mrs W*ng in the Science lab...) Thanks for paying attention to me when I asked for help with questions when I was a helpless girl swimming in a whole stack of unintelligible Science worksheets, as well as for accepting my late work. At least it wasn't as bad as the 3 month late ones to the above teacher, but it was still bad... And thanks for the A- for the Science file I never bothered tidying up... I know that there's a high chance that you'd forgotten your glasses/contact lenses, but I wish to just think of it as a mere miracle.
HOL: Not holiday, but *coughHEADOFLEVELcough*... Thanks for not taking offence at this ignorant kid's blog last year, and giving me another chance... If you'd decided to sue me under the sedition act, I'm sure I wouldn't even be here. I'll be stuck in a juvenile delinquent home spending my days washing the toilet with a toothbrush. Nothing much to say about this guy, unless you want something sarcastic/critical.
Chang E: Not the moon fairy... As in, the teacher with that surname. Sorry that I'd infuriated you on countless occasions with my abrasiveness (irony: I hate abrasive people), and I really wish to thank you for your concern... I was obviously too immature to recognise that what you did was all for our/my own good (this sounds propaganda like), but I'd come to realise it when I came to conciousness (pun... Elaboration coming up.) after I'd fainted. I could even have said that you were motherly, but it sounds eccentric on a woman like you... Nothing defaming about that. Indeed, this should go on the teacher I'd met in Los Angeles, but the dedication to that teacher's long enough. Thank you for all your concern, patience (and impatience), and care.
Koh-Koh crunch: You've really given a boost to my confidence in terms of History... Before you appeared, I'd thought that I was destined to score a C for my History, but you've changed that... (This sounds stupid) Indeed, I still think that you mistook my essay for someone else's (for eg: Lay Kuan/Sylvia, whose register numbers are quite close to mine... This contradicts the point of my confidence.) or like I'd said before, forgotten your glasses. Also, apologies for not listening to those 2 MOE visitors, and leaving such a bad impression on them, but really, I'd had no idea what they were talking about as I wasn't present for the previous lessons. (From a mustard -oops- C5 to a B3-> a mark short of an A2, but I'm satisfied...)
Chan-mali-chan: I was a horrible geog rep, with the geog files and many extensions I'd to ask for. Thanks for being so patient anyway, waiting for the worksheets without a grumble. Thanks for improving my geog as well (from a D7 to an A2).
Teo-pets: I am giving stupid names, and apologies... I'm in a rush to get off due to mom's nagging. Thanks for not complaining about my horrible artwork, despite the many paintmarks and squiggles on the drawing block every single time. And apologies for irritating you on a regular basis too...
Ironically, I've said in my previous post that I should appreciate the teachers instead of eternally making satirical jokes out of them. That's all for now... May add on to these, but I'm literally being thrown off the computer...
Here's another paragraph to disprove the point that brevity is wit.
It seems as though my dedications to those teachers are more apologetic than gratifying, and it is really an oxymoron as dedications aren't supposed to be apologies. Apart from that, the sheer irony of hopping from blog to blog and seeing long posts of dedications makes me clutch my already aching diaphragm and whoop with laughter at details of myself I'd never known (see Peirong's blog). HMM...
And here's a preview of the coming 'fairy tales' series of satirical jokes that would seriously contradict my 'appreciation' of the teachers...
1: Puss in Hongzhi (Seriously, this can be related to that incident of the cat being injured... *sniffles*)
2: Little Red Riding 'Soot'
3: The woman who cried 'HUH!'
4: Gul'Lee'ver's Travels -> I know that Gullivers' Travels (Jonathan Swift) isn't a fairy tale, and thus you could say that this is a mix of stories...
That's all that I've got to, considering my imminent death on Wednesday... My Math teacher's going to drag my carcass somewhere for some obscure Math competition. I could go INSANE... Firstly, knowing my Math, one could brand my teacher insane for submitting my name for a competition. Secondly, she did it not only for ONE competition, but TWO. I guess it's not my teacher who'll go insane, but me, as she'll scold me till my brain goes all berserk and starts running like a headless chicken in my head. And the second Math competition is on this Saturday... I'm glad that at least I get to miss Science for the first competition.
That's all.
5:39 PM