Disclaimer

The reader accepts, on reading of this disclaimer, that the Internet is a vast wasteland of crap that spews out of human minds. This blog is no different. Any assumptions or conclusions that the reader draws from this blog are not the responsibility of the author, along with any physical or psychological harm that might result from the reading of this blog.

Author

The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.

Reality

The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.

Loves

Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.

Hates

Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.

Friends

Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'

Archives

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Chat area


Monday, May 09, 2005

Sometimes, I wonder if true beauty even exists in a world so bleak as this.

Perhaps beauty is indeed an illusion, the biggest ever. Like hypocrisy, which is closely linked, the world is made up of illusions, of academics, politics, money etc. When you don't need someone, people always say that they are there for you. But when you dearly need this special person, no one seems to be there, no matter how many times you knock on the door.

Like stereotypes of the world, Bob Ewells and Mayella Ewells are all over the place. Bob Ewells are present as schoolyard bullies, while Mayellas are of course the supposed victims of the place. Where have all the Scouts, Jems and Dills gone to? Especially when you are in dire need? The answer, of course, is there they are all illusions; they come like the wind, and go like the wind.

Dwelling in fanciful fantasies would indeed do no one any good. Delusions, in fact, lift a person so high that when the little puffs of clouds are finally gone, there are only thin tendrils of smoke that capture you, arising from the charred pieces of wood where the past, the fantasies, had been. Then, in that sudden outburst, the Heavens would start firing their machine guns, and this time, the effect would be even greater than before.

Lusting for true beauty. Take for example a little droplet in the ocean. If the little drop wanted to change the course of the whole vast ocean, tell me, is it possible?! Have you, since you were a little kid, seen an ocean ever change its direction? Everyone says the two words 'starting afresh' like it's the easiest thing in the world. Everyone says that letting go is really simple. But deep down, we all know that when we are at that crossroad ourselves, we know that it is hard, that it is near impossible. So what is the point of carrying on looking at the world through rose-tinted lenses? Indeed, it is man to live in fantasies, to daydream. Indeed, not everyone is like me.

So ultimately, I lust for true beauty, helplessly and hopelessly praying that one day, beauty would stand by itself, rid of the hypocrisy surrounding it, strong enough to ward off every one of its attackers. But when will this dream come true? Will it ever come true?

Of course, we all love hypocrisy, as well as Mayella and Bob Ewells.

9:12 PM