The reader accepts, on reading of this disclaimer, that the Internet is a vast wasteland of crap that spews out of human minds. This blog is no different. Any assumptions or conclusions that the reader draws from this blog are not the responsibility of the author, along with any physical or psychological harm that might result from the reading of this blog.
Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.
Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.
Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.
Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.
Friends
Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'
Archives
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Chat area
The lone Joker that sees through the delusion. That is a quote from Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaardner, one of my favorite books. I feel that I can really relate to the Joker in the book. The Joker that sees too much and thinks too deeply. Frode, the master, in turn calls him "a little fool". For what? Thinking too much, knowing the truth behind everything. In the end, the other cards all wanted to kill the Joker, for the same reason, that he saw what they didn't. My name is actually reflected in the Joker, if you realised. JOker. If you all don't understand this, just take this as rantings from an insane person who should be chucked into the asylum as her flu and headache have kindly damaged her brain. Sometimes, I really wish there was someone out there for me. What I mean by someone is my twin soul, someone who shares my views. Like the Joker, he was the only one, as he did not belong to the Diamonds, Clubs, Hearts or Spades. When he then tried to explain the truth to others, they just threatened to kill him. The lone Joker then broke into tears, though he's supposed to be a clown, happy and joyous. I feel that my life-story is reflected in it. Whenever I try to tell others the truth, they often shun me, drinking down the lie-nectar(Solitaire Mystery) that allows them to carry on living in delusion. But how much lie-nectar can there be?
Last night, I had an interesting conversation with Sera on MSN. We talked about religion wars, philosophy. A cynic knows the value of nothing, and the price of everything. Who said that?! You all should know! But unfortunately, none of you probably know... I hate it when I am all alone, no understanding from others. Although the Joker was the trickiest and smartest of the whole magic island, even smarter than Frode the Master, who could understand him? Who could understand where he was coming from? No one... He was the lone Joker. The one who sees through Destiny must live through it too. It really makes me wonder; is all the thinking that I am doing worth it? As thinking is seen as a waste of time, so is moral courage seen as folly. I really feel like giving up now. What's the point of dragging myself on hopelessly? Does anyone realise why I've been getting migraines? I can never sleep at night, because of all the thoughts running through my head, the little tendrils that slowly suffocate me, everything enveloped in a miasma of deafening yet eerie silence. Maybe I am just being cynical to you. But no one was ever there to help me. No one wanted to think beyond academics. Only Joker... Only Joker alone in the truth, who has to live in the agony of Destiny because he saw through it. Is it worth it...
Talk about compassion, victimizing. WHO EVER SHOWED ME COMPASSION?! WHO EVER KNEW THAT I WAS A VICTIM OF MYSELF?! No one... No one ever showed understanding to me. So WHY SHOULD I DO THE SAME TO YOU? Because I am the little fool... Who ultimately saves the pack of cards but has to live through destiny... The agony of the truth that was discovered... Who ever cared?...
7:54 AM