Disclaimer
The reader accepts, on reading of this disclaimer, that the Internet is a vast wasteland of crap that spews out of human minds. This blog is no different. Any assumptions or conclusions that the reader draws from this blog are not the responsibility of the author, along with any physical or psychological harm that might result from the reading of this blog.

Author
The author is a paranoid, deranged and cynical misanthrope who records snippets of her life so that she will remember them when she grows old and withered. The identities of any names or initials on this blog are based on the assumptions of the reader unless otherwise specified, and the author claims no responsibility for them.

Reality
The author somehow got into medical school. Yes, you of the general public, shudder and fear the wrath of an inept doctor.

Loves
Reading, Maisy (my dog), tea, writing (albeit badly), piano, music, junk food.

Hates
Almost everything else besides the things mentioned above.

Friends

 Bao Cheng' Bernice' Chien Young' Chun Hing' Claire' Faustina' Felicia' Ferly' Gloria' Irene' Irene & Jiaying' Jac' Jiamin' Jiasin' Jiaying' Lutheng' Karene' Marissa' Melesa' Mingyi' My fictionpress' Pamelia' Pei Rong' Qiu Ting' Rachel' Satires Site' Stasia' Sylvia' The Clique' Vinette' Wenjia' Xin Rong' Xue Ying' Yanne & I' Yanne & Jamie' Zeena' 203'

Archives

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Chat area


 Saturday, April 16, 2005

This post is going to be rather depressing and somewhat philosophical, so for those who don't want to read it, please click on the cute little red box with the white 'X' at the top right hand side of the page.

Somtimes, I just wish that my life could be an Internet Browser, like the one you are looking at. You can so easily minimize it and close the window. But in life, it's just an endless race, of which you probably wouldn't think you had achieved much when you are on your death bed. Just like SYF. When you are on your death bed, you probably wouldn't even remember what happened when you were in Sec 2, whether you get a Gold with Honours or a Bronze. These things just come and go in life. They are just part and parcel of life, and we should just be like the phoenix which rises even stronger from the ashes after each time it is reduced to a pile of dust.

Could we all just stop this useless charade, of which no one would benefit from? It is getting really detrimental to the harmony of our class, and the people in it. If we want to do something, could we just do it as one, instead of a few people doing it? I know that I haven't been cooperative myself, but I am trying to do so. Just as I have said, the past few weeks have been turbulent, especially the one that had just passed. Maybe you all don't know, but my family and I are going through the worst trial which we have ever gone through. We are all really strained. You all probably don't know about it as I have still been doing rather well in my academics, for example, History. What you all don't know is that I never studied for any History test, and my assignments were done with my textbooks sleeping under my desk in school. What you all don't know is that I have been crying myself to sleep. Last night, I cracked down again. I couldn't sleep at 11.30, even though I was so tired after CIP, and after running home all the way from the bus stop outside my home. But last night was so different from the rest of the nights. Last night, I lost all my emotions. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I had grasped the issue of mind over matter, and because of that, I had to pay the price of losing all control over my emotions, be it euphoria or depression. For everything in life, there's a price to pay. This price I had to pay was really large, though I am happy that I have finally gotten out of the dark and gloomy tunnel. For the first night ever, I had not a single nightmare at all. That's indeed the price of mind over matter. You forget all the feelings in life. You can't feel as well as others can. I told myself that last night would be the very last night I would cry over such a matter. Then I went through all the events that happened, and it was all so surreal. That flight of stairs at Woodlands Primary was just so long, so steep. Our footsteps were echoing, and it was like there was no one else there. I started laughing. Maniacally laughing about how comical it was, how childish I had been to put my emotions first. Maybe I have gone insane. I told xr yesterday that I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I could feel it. And it came.

I think I have really gone berserk. I no longer have control of my emotions. It's just like they have all gone with the wind. But like the phoenix, I think I have risen much stronger than before. The price to pay was indeed great, wasn't it?

9:11 AM